Tuesday, May 19, 2009

65 ?s

65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked...you know the rules. tag people in this note (including the person who tagged you!) to learn more about people. Also, try to tag people who you've tagged in other notes, sometimes you learn things in new notes that you didn't know before about them.......

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
Hair.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
red

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
um... prolly not.

4. Do you plan outfits?
nope... throw and go....

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
exhausted. happy.

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
shorts

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
That's a lil personal... it's between me and her.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Nope

9. What are you craving right now?
her. Just her.

10. Do you floss?
um...... maybe? Not frequently....

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
halupki

12. Are you emotional?
more than I want to be, but less than I should be... hell I dunno...

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
2,646 actually... then I got interrupted.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
lick.... it hurts my teeth if I bite it.

15. Do you like your hair?
what hair I have? yeah sure.

16. Do you like yourself?
87.6 percent of the time.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Yep. I personally like the guy... as a president, he wasn't our best, but he is still an interesting person.

18. What are you listening to right now
Jess

19. Are your parents strict?
not really.

20. Would you go sky diving?
fuck yeah.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
haven't eaten it in a WHILE.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
sure have. Her name is Christel.

23. Do you rent movies often?
nope. I buy.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
um... not really... I'm not so much into things that go sparkle.

25. How many countries have you visited?
3.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
ha ha ha sure.

27. Ever been on a train?
yeah, a few of em.

28. Brown or white eggs?
no preference.

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
yeah... it is always with me.

30. Do you use chap stick?
sure... not often enough tho.

31. Do you own a gun?
I wish.

32. Can you use chop sticks?
sure thing.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
me, myself, and I... and a certain girl via webcam.

34. Are you too forgiving?
in general, no. I can be pretty harsh actually.

35. Ever been in love?
yep.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
work, work, and oh some more work. Sucks being all growed up.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
I think so.

38. Last time you cried?
cannot remember... maybe after I finished battlestations I teared up... I think.

39. What was the last question you asked?
I asked Jess about her job.

40. Favorite time of the year?
Fall.

42. Are you sarcastic?
Me? Nooooooooo I'm not sarcastic at alllllllllllllll

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
surely.

44. Ever walked into a wall?
HA HA HA have you MET me?

45. Favorite color?
red

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
sure... joking around tho... not the real thing... I'd rather knock someone out.

47. Is your hair curly?
nope.... when it gets long, it gets wavy

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Eminem-Relapse eariler off itunes

49. Do looks matter?
yeah... I need to be attracted to the person... Someone I think is beautiful and gorgeous... someone like Jess!

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
nope. end of story.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
nope

52. Do you like your life right now?
In general.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
fuck no. Dark and quiet.... well mostly quiet

54. Can you handle the truth?
I believe the truth is the only way to go.

55. Do you have good vision?
yep... thank God for Lasik

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
yeah. I know you shouldn't hate, but they deserve it.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
depends on the person. Mostly I text tho.

58. The last person you held hands with?
It's been a while... I dunno.

59. What are you wearing?
My Navy AT shirt.

60.What is your favorite animal?
wolf

61. Where was your default picture taken at?
my room.... I needed to show off my Yoda shirt.

62. Can you hula hoop?
nope.

63. Do you have a job?
for shizzle.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
songs on itunes

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
yes I have. many times.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Quietly I ride...

I've been pretty quiet for a while. I guess I really haven't had a whole lot to write about, or more accurately, had the will to write about.

It's been really busy lately. It seems like I am running on a perpetual cycle of the same thing. I switched back to working nights as a part of this whole new concept they have going in my squadron where they split us up into the group going to Norfolk in June, and those staying behind. Hectic isn't a good enough word to describe the chaos that it has been. Clusterfuck might work better. The main problem with the set up is the lack of qualified people on my shift... so there is almost no training going on, and a bunch of unquals trying to get things done without proper supervision or help when it's needed. I think that it is a partially good learning experience, be cause we have to learn to do things on our own, but not having people around to ask questions when we have them is killing us. So yeah... thats most of my daily routine.

On top of said headache, I am not sleeping very well. Everyone knows I have a history of sleep issues, but they seem to be getting worse as of late. I constantly wake up, don't get enough sleep, and feel exhausted all day long. The only thing keeping me going is the fact that I am used to running on low sleep... that and massive amounts of Red Bull. Luckily we had a full weekend off, but I still feel like I had a lack of sleep... even without a set agenda for the weekend, I could not pull off much sleep. Aggravating.

On a positive note, I am closer to moving. The count right now is at 24 days, I believe. 24 days until I move to Norfolk and begin a whole new adventure. Along the path to that new adventure, I get to spend time with some very special people... my friends and family. I will stop in Austin to see my sis, her bf, and hopefully my parents. then it will be off to Georgia to see Bryan, Rachel, and Jess. Hopefully I can see a few other people along the way too. I am very excited about the time span between the 11th and the 18th.

Oh and I don't want you guys thinking I'm totally miserable, because I'm not. I am actually pretty content, just exhausted. I've made 3 really good friends in the past month, and I look forward to us possibly getting a place in Norfolk. That would rock. Also, there is someone else who makes me very happy, and I really look forward to spending time with her. She is an amazing girl. So yeah, not miserable... just tired!

Anyways that's really all I have at the moment. I will be sure to keep everyone updated on the Move and hopefully I will get more inspired to write soon!

~Ian

Friday, May 8, 2009

Blog Theft (stolen from the sister)

WRITE EXACTLY WHATS ON YOUR MIND.

1. Your ex and You = fun while it lasted, I suppose.

2. I am listening to = nothing. oddly.

3. Maybe I should = let things fall as they ma instead of trying to push things where I want them.

4. I love = my friends and family

5. My best friend(s) = are few and a very select group.

6. I don’t understand = women.

7. I have lost my respect for = some people.

8. I last ate = KFC

9. The meaning of my display name is = childhood nickname that has weathered the test of time.

10. God = there.... somewhere...

11. Someday = I'll be happy with where I'm at in life.

12. I will always be = me, no matter what you say or think.

13. Love seems = elusive

14. I never ever want to lose = my sense of perspective.

15. My LiveJournal is = non existent

17. I get annoyed = too much. I ought to work on that.

18. Parties = aren't the same as they used to be.

20. Simple kisses = are one of the best kind.

21. Today I = start working nights again. sigh.

22. I wish = a few things would go right.
————————–————————–——-
NOW

01. is your hair wet? negatory

02. is your cell phone right by you? always.

03. do you miss someone? for sure

04. are you wearing chapstick? nah

05. are you tired? perpetual state

06. are you wearing pajamas? nah

08. are you mad? not yet.

09. are you upset? miffed maybe, but not upset.

————————–————————–——–

HAVE YOU

01. recently done anything you regret? regrets aren't my thing.

02. ever lied? who hasn't?

03. ever put gum underneath a desk? not that I can recall....

04. ever kicked someone? yes

05. ever tripped over your own feet? sure have. I can be as graceful as a swan or as clumsy as a newborn horse.

TODAY HAVE YOU:

01. have you cursed? have you met me?

02. have you gotten mad at someone? day ain’t over yet. (ditto)

-RANDOM-

Q: is there a person who is on your mind right NOW? yes.

Q: do you have any siblings? a couple blood related, a couple step, and a few chosen.

Q: do you want children? I've always wanted to be a father.

Q: do you smile often? sure... when the mood strikes, or if I am talking to a certain person.

Q: do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? only my work boots.

Q: do you like your handwriting? it's functional so I guess it can stay.

Q: are your toenails painted? not my thing really, so no.

Q: are you a friendly person? if I'm in the mood

Q: whose bed other than yours do you sleep in? I don't.

Q: what color shirt are you wearing? white

Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday? um.... watching tv I think

Q: I can’t wait until: June 11.

LAST TIME YOU ______

last time you prank called someone? don't remember

last time you skipped school/class/work? college. I kinda get in a massive boatload of trouble if I skip work now.

last time you called your best friend? last weekend

last time you tried to tell someone how you feel? last night. I have no problem sharing feelings.

last time you had someone call? yesterday.

last time you twisted your ankle? cannot remember

last time you drove? yesterday

last time you cried? no clue.

last time you pushed someone? yesterday. It was prolly Ryan or Mantecon... dunno which tho.

last time you laughed? last night.

last time you rented a dvd? I don't rent. I own.

last time you worked? yesterday. last day on days before I go back to the fun and excitement of nights and the whole new det concept thing.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Empty

I live everyday questioning things. It's my nature. It gets me in trouble sometimes because I ask questions at the wrong time, I ask the wrong questions, or my thirst for knowledge and understanding simply upsets someone.

That being said, I find myself asking questions and getting no answers. I try to figure things out and come up empty. I feel my purpose and drive in life slipping from my grasp because I feel like I cannot find the reason behind things.

I feel alone too. All around me, people are in relationships, getting married, and having kids... and I'm serially single. I can't hold down a relationship to save my life. I'm sure that it is as much my doing as anything else. I just can't get in a groove without either being tossed out of it or driving myself out of it.

I can't say I am miserable over it. I know that I'm young and i have time... but is it wrong for me to wish to be involved with someone? Is it wrong to want to give affection and get it back? Is it a fault to give everything for someone and want to get the same in return?

See... there I go again with questions...

It feels like I am going through the motions these days. I can't seem to fill the space with anything worthwhile. I just feel so empty and void of anything that makes me more than content.

I don't want anyone to think I hate my life or am being all depressed. I'm not. I know I have plenty going for me, and have a good life. I have more than many, and I am grateful for that, believe me. That being said, I just want more. I want to feel like my life has a purpose, that I am making a difference in the world and in someone's life. I want to feel like someone cares about me, and thinks about me. I want simple things... simple things that are so complicated.

*sigh*

I'm tired of being melancholy and melodramatic. I just want plain simple happiness that I see around me everyday. I see the world moving around me, and I feel stuck in place.

I am about to move my life across the country for, at the very least, the next 3 1/2 years, and I don't know how to feel about it. I want to be excited, but I can't. I want to be sad about leaving Texas again, but nothing. I want to feel anything besides the way I do now... like nothing is there.

I'd love to escape into the fantasy world inside my head, where all is well and wonderful, but I wake up everyday to the same existence. I feel like all I do is exist... and that is driving me insane.

Fuck. I want to feel important, needed, loved, hated, liked, despised, worthwhile, necessary, etc. I just want to feel.

Is that so much to ask?

Apparently so.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Draft Day 1 in the books

Well it's over. Day 1 of the NFL Draft has come to an end... and I have to say, it was a weird day.

Lots of strange picks and trades, and some teams didn't even pick today. I can't wait to wake up and watch another 5 rounds tomorrow! Hopefully Denver stops screwing around and starts making some better picks. I doubt it though.... sigh.

Just so you guys know... I really am that big of a football fan. I haven't missed watching or listening to the draft in years. last year I almost did because I was in boot camp, but I got to watch some of it because I was on liberty. Anyways, I will do a final draft round up Monday!

~Ian

First Round Coverage! 32 picks, a bunch of trades, and 3 1/2 hours just for you...

Ok here goes.

1. Detroit Lions
My pick: Matthew Stafford
Chosen: Matt Stafford
Easy choice. I had this one right last night when he signed the contract.

2. St. Louis Rams
My pick: Eugene Monroe
Chosen: Jason Smith
I figured this one might happen. Close choice but I ate this one.

3. Kansas City Chiefs
My pick: Aaron Curry
Chosen: Tyson Jackson
A lot of people saw this one coming, but I still remain unimpressed with Jackson. Bad pick in my opinion.

4. Seattle Seahawks
My pick: Mark Sanchez
Chosen: Aaron Curry
They took the best player available and filled an obvious need. No hard feelings on this choice, but the KC pick really set this one up.

5. New York Jets (traded from Cleveland)
My pick: Michael Crabtree
Chosen: Mark Sanchez
I knew the Jets would go after a QB, considering my choice for them to take Josh Freeman. Good choice, but Is he worth two picks and 3 players? Dunno.

6. Cincinnati Bengals
My pick: Jason Smith
Chosen: Andre Smith
Terrible pick. I think he has severe character issues, and will end up being one of those players with weight troubles and will be a bust. But who knows. i
I think Monroe would have been better here. And what was with him wearing black and everyone else in the room wearing white. WTF? I'm sucking ass with my picks...

7. Oakland Raiders
My pick: Jeremy Maclin
Chosen: Darius Heyward-Bey
What the FUCK. Proof that Al Davis is a fucking tool. Speed over the best receiver in the draft... MORONS. You guys just SCREWED yourselves. Good job.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars
My Pick: B.J. Raji
Chosen: Eugene Monroe
Another team passed on Crabtree, but a solid pick here. Not bad. Crabtree probably won't go till San Fran.

9. Green Bay Packers
My pick: Everette Brown
Chosen: B.J. Raji
Raji was a good choice here. Obviously the best pick for them, because they didn't need a receiver.

10. San Fransisco 49ers
My Pick: Andre Smith
Chosen: Michael Crabtree
Obvious at this point. San Fran LUCKED OUT here. No one saw Crabtree falling to them, but hey... good for SF.

11. Buffalo Bills
My Pick: Michael Oher
Chosen: Aaron Maybin
Surprise. I didn't really see them passing up on Oher here... but they have a chance to get him later in the first round if he is still there.

12. Denver Broncos
My pick: Brian Orakpo
Chosen: Knowshon Moreno
Why? They needed defense and they went running back, of which they already have 6+, 3 brought in during free agency. Passed on a hell of a defender for something they didn't need. Silly. I hope McDaniels picks his game up, otherwise this will not be a good start to his draft career.

13. Washington Redskins
My pick: Aaron Maybin
Chosen: Brian Orakpo
Well.... I guess they picked the best player... someone they thought wouldn't be there. Stupid Broncos...

14. New Orleans Saints
My pick: Malcolm Jenkins
Chosen: Malcolm Jenkins
I got another one right! Hooray! They needed help at DB, and this is a good pick.

15. Houston Texans
My pick: Vontae Davis
Chosen: Brian Cushing
They needed defense and they got it. They need offense too... but I guess take what you can get.

16. San Diego Chargers
My pick: Ray Maualuga
Chosen: Larry English
I don't get what these teams are doing. Oh well... I give up on choosing who will go where. He played for a low end team against low end opponents. I don't see him doing as well as some other linebackers, but hey, he could turn out to be a great player.

17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (from Cleveland, from New York Jets)
My pick: Josh Freeman
Chosen: Josh Freeman
I guess I managed to get this one right by fate. I knew when Cleveland traded to this spot, they weren't going after him, but Tampa needed a QB so here you go. Even I get lucky sometimes! Good pick here... but think they could have not traded up to get him. They didn't give up much to get him. I don't really think he is that great, but I guess he will get his shot to prove how good he is.

18. Denver Broncos
My pick: Brian Cushing
Chosen: Robert Ayers
Not impressed with this pick... but they fill a need. I think they could have made a different choice going with a linebacker, but I guess you take what you can get. I just heard their reason behind drafting Moreno (Can't pass up the talent, and can never have enough running backs) and can't say I am terribly impressed. I hope he turns out to be worth the talent they passed up to get him.

19. Philadelphia Eagles (from Cleveland, from Tampa Bay)
My pick: Tyson Jackson
Chosen: Jeremy Maclin
Not a bad pick here. They need help at receiver, and seeing as Moreno was gone, they took a big need. He should help them very well as a returner and eventually as a receiver. Sure the have DeSean Jackson... but you can never have enough speedy talented receivers. Cleveland doesn't seem to want to pick in the first round for some reason... they keep trading!

20. Detroit Lions
My pick: James Laurinaitis
Chosen: Brandon Pettigrew
Weird pick here. I would have gone defense or o-lineman, but they do pick up a good blocking and receiving tight end. He will help out Stafford on two fronts, but I think they still could have chosen something different.

21. Cleveland Browns (from Philadelphia)
My pick: Knowshon Moreno
Chosen: Alex Mack, C, California
A good pick. They did well trading back and getting him late in the round instead of wasting a high pick on someone they could have gotten later, or a player they didn't really feel they needed. One of the best picks of the round. Well done.

22. Minnesota Vikings
My pick: Percy Harvin
Chosen: Percy Harvin
YAY! Another right pick! They need a receiver, and they need a game breaker. He fills both, and he should be an immediate impact for them, and take some pressure off of Adrian Peterson. They could have gone with a lineman, but I think they made the best pick here, and great pick here.

23. Baltimore Ravens (from New England)
My pick: Clay Matthews
Chosen: Michael Oher
Baltimore's line is getting up there in years so this is a solid pick. He is a great player and has great character, and will definitely be a good or great player in the NFL. Good choice and good call trading up for it.

24. Atlanta Falcons
My pick: Brandon Pettigrew
Chosen: Peria Jerry
I don't know what I was thinking... I guess I forgot they traded for Tony Gonzales. Anywho... Good pick here for them. They needed middle presence on defense, and this guy will help them.

25. Miami Dolphins
My pick: Larry English
Chosen: Vontae Davis
A solid pick. They need presence in their defensive backfield, and this is a player who can make a difference. He will have his work cut out for him in that division...

26. Green Bay Packers (from New England, from Baltimore)
My pick: Darius Heyward-Bey
Chosen: Clay Matthews
You can never have enough good line backers, and they picked a very good one with a lot of upside. Surprised that Maualuga is still waiting to be called, and that the other two LBs he played with went before him, but I don't think he will make it out of the first round. Good choice for GB and they are doing well addressing defense so far.

27. Indianapolis Colts
My pick: Brian Robiskie
Chosen: Donald Brown, RB, Conneticut
I figured them to go for another receiver, partly to make up for Marvin Harrison being released, and partly to just give them another weapon, but they got a good RB here with great pass catching skills. Indy is following the trend of the two back system, so Brown will be a heck of a tandem with Addai. Good choice here, but a bit of a surprise.

28. Buffalo Bills
My pick: Chase Coffman
Chosen: Eric Wood, C, Loisville
Buffalo needs lineman, and here is a good one. 4 year starter, and should be immediate help for the Bills. I think they should have picked up a career tackle with their first pick, but at least they addressed the line here.

29. New York Giants
My pick: Hakeem Nicks
Chosen: Hakeem Nicks
Wow.... I knew this was a toss up between Nicks and Britt, but glad I chose right. This is a big physical receiver who can fill in a big need for NY. I think he will make people forget about Plax. Good job here Giants.

30. Tennessee Titans
My pick: Kenny Britt
Chosen: Kenny Britt
Another good pick for a need. As I said with Nicks, it was a toss up where those two would land between NY and Tennessee. Good route runner, good hands, and should help out a team with severe receiver issues. I think this was one thing that really hurt the Titans, and now they have a receiver that has to ability to get them to the next level.

31. Arizona Cardinals
My pick: Chris "Beanie" Wells
Chosen: Chris "Beanie" Wells
3 in a row! Shocking I know... Anyways, I knew this was coming. Edge is past his prime, and they need a real rushing threat, and Beanie is it. He should have immediate impact, and give Arizona another threat on offense. This is all based on whether or not he can stay healthy...

32. Pittsburgh Steelers
My pick: Darius Butler
Chosen: Ziggy Hood, DT, Missouri
Well.... I guess. I didn't really see this one coming, but I've seen odder (Oakland picking Heyward-Bey). I really didn't think Maualuga would fall out of the first round, but that's how it goes sometimes. The Steelers draft very well, so if they think this is their man for the first round, then he must have been worth the pick.

Roundup:
So I didn't do so hot with my picks. I got 7 out of 32 right... pretty shitty, but I think the shake-ups that happened, (Heyward-Bey at 7 for the Raiders, double trades by the Browns and Patriots), I doubt anyone did well. Odd that Maualuga and Laurinaitis are still on the board after the first round, and two picks into the second, but you really can't pick how some people will choose. Anyways, I think some teams chose very well and really helped themselves out (Green Bay, NY Jets, Lions), some had head scratchers (Denver, Kansas City, San Diego), and some were just plain stupid (Oakland). All in all a pretty standard first round. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my coverage and commentary!

~Ian

My NFL Mock Draft!



Here's my picks for the first round of the NFL Draft, which will be going down at 4 p.m. ET today! Knowing my track record of picking things, this may or may not be very accurate. But let us hope for the best!

And here we go...

1. Detroit Lions pick Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia Bulldogs



2. St. Louis Rams pick Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia Cavaliers



3. Kansas City Chiefs pick Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forest



4. Seattle Seahawks pick Mark Sanchez, QB, USC



5. Cleveland Browns pick Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech



6. Cincinnati Bengals pick Jason Smith, OT, Baylor



7. Oakland Raiders pick Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri



8. Jacksonville Jaguars pick B.J. Raji, DT, Boston College



9. Green Bay Packers pick Everette Brown, DE/LB, Florida State



10. San Fransisco 49ers pick Andre Smith, OT, Alabama



11. Buffalo Bills pick Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi



12. Denver Broncos pick Brian Orakpo, DE/LB, Texas



13. Washington Redskins pick Aaron Maybin, LB, Penn State



14. New Orleans Saints pick Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State



15. Houston Texans pick Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois



16. San Diego Chargers pick Ray Maualuga, LB, USC



17. New York Jets pick Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State



18. Denver Broncos pick Brian Cushing, LB, USC



19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers pick Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU



20. Detroit Lions pick James Laurinaitis, LB, Ohio State



21. Philadelphia Eagles pick Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia



22. Minnesota Vikings pick Percy Harvin, WR, Florida



23. New England Patriots pick Clay Matthews, LB, USC



24. Atlanta Falcons pick Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State



25. Miami Dolphins pick Larry English, DE, Northern Illinois



26. Baltimore Ravens pick Darius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland



27. Indianapolis Colts pick Brian Robiskie, WR, Ohio State



28. Buffalo Bills choose Chase Coffman, TE, Missouri



29. New York Giants pick Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina



30. Tennessee Titans pick Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers



31. Arizona Cardinals pick Chris "Beanie" Wells, RB, Ohio State



32. Pittsburgh Steelers pick Darius Butler, CB, Connecticut



So there you have it... my first round mock draft. Some players who may sneak into the first round include:
LeSean McCoy, RB, Pitt
Louis Delmas, S, Western Michigan
Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi
Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee
Clint Sintim, LB, Virginia

Watch the draft today or check in with my follow up blog to see how I did!

~Ian

My favorite movie quote

Anyone who knows me, knows I have no faith in religion. I have faith in general, just not in religion. That being said, when I heard this quote in Kingdom of Heaven... I can't tell you much it struck a chord in me. So here you go.

"I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the Will of God. I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What God desires is here [points to head] and here [points to heart] and what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man - or not."

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Re-post of "Wolf" in a shoebox

This is a re-post for those who are relatively new in my life or new to the blog and are wondering at the Wolf nickname and Wolf themes. Read it and learn! ~I.T.

Stories of the Wolf: Chapter One.

The Origins

Everyone always says "blank in a nutshell" but I cant fit what I want to talk about in that kinda space. I need something with more room... like a shoebox. We may have to move up to a packing crate soon... but for now lets go with the shoebox.

On my last blog I explained about the origins of the nickname "Wolf". To comparmentalize it I'll give you the Cliffnotes version. Due to my love of Wolves and my habit of wearing wolf t shirts, a friend began calling me Wolf. My other friends began to as well. We also made several connections between myself and a wolf. I stick to a small group. I'm very cunning. I stalk my "prey" and "execute" it with precision and stunning skill. I could go on and on but for the sake of time, lets leave it there. So Wolf was born.

When I was first dubbed Wolf, I kept it within my group of friends. We were always very close guarded with our nicknames and kept them amongst ourselves, but as we got older we were more free with them. Eventually many people knew our nicknames because we went by them while we were causing mass distruction and havoc in high school. We are still famous to this day for some of the stunts we pulled. (another story for another time) So with the expansion of use and for another reason (in memoriam of the friend who gave me the nickname) I chose to tattoo Wolf on my arm.



A recent addition has been made to my Wolf ink.




The tattoo reminds me of all that is important... and it reminds me to always be me. I designed it myself and I wanted it to be like me, unique. I will always be proud of the nickname Wolf and what it represents. I will never forget those who gave me the name and who stand beside me as my friends. To the best friends anyone could ever ask for. Derreck and Bryan, here's to you...



So that is Wolf in a shoebox... more than a little bit... and enough to keep you interested in whats to come. There will be plenty more to come in the Stories of the Wolf. This saga has just begun.

I'm GLOBAL.

To the people of the 30 countries who have visited my blog...

THANK YOU!

Please keep reading and I will keep writing.

It's kind of amazing to know that my words are read around the world...
Kind of humbling too.

Thank you again, and be sure to tell your friends!

~Ian "Wolf" Townsend

Taking a page from a book...

So it's been a bit since I've written. I guess I got on an inspired streak and immediately fell on an uninspired one. Go figure. I guess in my writing life it's either feast or famine.

Anyways, what have I been up to lately you wonder? Well besides the constant work I endure, not much really. I spent 9 days on leave which was very nice. I got to see family and friends and got a brand new tattoo. All in all, it was a pretty good leave period, as leave periods go, but I realized when I got back to my "apartment" that I was more tired than when I left for leave. Lets just say that I, as well as my car, were tired. I put around a thousand miles on my car, and after the trauma that occurred with it, I was rather impressed.

So after the break, I got back to the grind of work, and the funniest thing about the whole time between leave and this past week is the fact that I haven't watched much TV at all. Except for a few assorted viewings when I was on leave, my TV life has been pretty non-existent. Before I went on leave, I watched nothing but movies, and never even used the cable I pay so much for a month. Usually I am one to maximize my buck, but lately I've been pretty "eh" over TV.

I've spent far more time reading and I've been absolutely devouring a new series of books I discovered courtesy of an unread book sitting on my sister's shelf. The series is called "The Dresden Files" by Jim Butcher, and I'm currently on book 7 of the series. I started reading the books last week. These aren't little books either. They all are around the 400 page mark, but I've simply been devouring them. I guess you could say that sometimes I get enthralled in books. Perhaps that's why I have been so lackadaisical with writing lately. Sometimes you have to put down the pen and pick up a book. Anyhow, I think I finally found a few things to write about, and maybe I might just get inspired enough to kick my ass into gear.

That being said, I leave you now with a few random thoughts and observations for your enjoyment and information.

-I found a new band I like called Shinedown. I say new, because they are new to me, but they have been around a bit. Check them out.

-Apparently, at 6'2 and 215, I am overweight according to the Navy. Go figure. The also said I have 19 % body fat, which anyone who knows me will tell you is a fucking joke.

-I seem to be more interested in baseball this year. I have to say that neither of my teams (Rangers and Red Sox) are playing too well. Texas started off strong but faltered as of late. I hope they both wake up. I would like to see a young Ranger team prove people wrong, and a Sox team play up to expectations. Time will tell.

-I was so over the Broncos/McDaniels/Cutler situation. I'm glad it's over, and I think it ended the best way. Not necessarily the right way, but the best way.

-John Madden is gone from broadcasting. That's kind of weird. NFL football isn't the same without him, even with his sometimes overly simplified and silly comments and obsession with the screen pen. "When a receiver catches the ball in the end zone, that's a touchdown." We will miss you John.

-I barely cared about anything basketball related this year. Not really an oddity, just more of a lack of interest in something that doesn't overly interest me.

-Same could be said for hockey, but I do like watching that... just haven't found the time or severe interest in watching. It hasn't been the same since the strike.

-It's funny how Tiger's win at Bay Hill scared everyone in golf. You could see the fear in the other golfer's faces. You could almost feel that Tiger magic on Sunday at the Masters, but he couldn't do it, and the golf world breathed easy again. For this week at least.

-Twitter is addicting. I blame you for getting me involved in that madness. Hold on while I go check what Shaq and Kevin Smith are up to.

-Oh and by the way, shut the fuck up Ashton Kutcher. Your time of relevance has passed. Get over it. Why don't you try acting once in a while. You aren't a half bad actor, when you want to be.

-I think that anyone, and I mean ANYONE should be allowed the freedom to voice their opinions on what goes on in the country they live in. If you have a problem with something, speak up and be heard. More on this coming in another post.

-Rick Perry, you're half of an idiot for suggesting that Texas succeeding from the U.S. is a viable option. On one hand, sure it might work, and on another you look stupid for putting it on the table and like a fool for even broaching the subject. On a related note, if Texas did succeed, I would totally vote for Chuck Norris to be President of Texas. He would roundhouse kick our economy back into shape!

-YOU make me smile. You know who you are.

-I discovered something neat about my car the other day. I can put my key in, turn on the car and take out the key, and the car keeps running. Cool huh?

-I realize I have WAY too many books and movies. Now I'm not complaining, but it will make moving the massive amount of literature and visual entertainment all the more difficult come June.

-On a related note, there are so many books and movies I want. I wish all I had to do was read, watch movies, and play video games. that would be the life. Anyone know a job that consists of those three things, because if you do, hook me up.

-I miss you guys.

I think that's about all I have for now.. More blog posts to follow soon I hope. You can return to your lives now.

~Ian

Friday, April 3, 2009

It may not be Thanksgiving, but...

I was talking to a friend today, and she made me realize something. Despite all that I've been dealing with lately, despite all the things I've had to complain about, I have so much to be thankful for. Hear, for your reading pleasure, is the things I am thankful for.

First and foremost, I am so thankful for my friends and family. Both have evolved over the years, but they have constantly been my rock when the waters of life are raging around me. No matter what's going on, I know that I can pick up the phone and they will be there for me. There are a lot of people who don't have the family and friends I do, and I know I'm the luckiest guy on earth to have those people in my life.

I have a JOB. In this economy, these things are getting hard to come by. On top of having said job, it is a very stable safe job as well. I know, that no matter what happens with the economy, I will have my job. How many people can say that? Let us not forget, I also get to do a job that I enjoy for the most part, and one I picked to do, and wasn't forced to choose. Along with my job, I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and a comfortable bed to sleep in. God, am I thankful for all of that!

Despite all the trouble it has been causing me lately, I have a car that works most of the time. I'm (most of the time) able to get to and from places without relying on others. Sure, for a couple of weeks, I was relying on the good nature of others, but for the most part, I'm independently mobile. Hooray for that!

I have money in my pocket and in a bank account. I didn't always have that. A lot of people still don't. I have plenty of things taking my money, and God knows I have plenty of things I owe on, but I have a steady income, and I know that I'll be able to support myself and not rely on others to help me out, even though if the time arose when I need help, my friends and family will be there for me. It's nice to be financially solvent, and I'm very thankful for that.

I'm thankful I am an American, and I'm very thankful I'm from the great state of Texas!

I'm thankful for all the past experiences I've had that made me who I am.

I'm thankful for all of the people in my life who have effected me in some way, and molded me into me.

I'm thankful to be alive.

I'm thankful for my life as a whole, no matter what has occurred, and what has transpired. It led me to here and I cannot complain about that.

So those are just a few things I am thankful for... a reminder that when times are hard, there is always something to be thankful for in the bleakest of times.

What are you thankful for?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

It comes in 3s

I had a good, light-hearted blog in mind (to counteract my last few melodramatic pissed off blogs), but fate intervened. I woke up this morning in a decent mood, ready to start the day and inch one day closer to being on leave. So I walk outside to wait on my ride (explanation on that coming in a moment), and I'm about a hundred feet from the parking lot when I spot my car, and something looks wrong. As I get closer I know something is wrong, and this is what I found.



Talk about a hell of a way to start your day. Anyways, I had to file an incident report, go through a bunch of phone calls, complain and bitch a bit, and then later I realized something. This was just the 3rd thing to go wrong with my car. There's a saying "All things come in 3s". First, my battery died, and it was a PAIN to change it. Next, My transmission shifter cable crapped out, and my car has been stuck in the barracks parking lot for the past two weeks, forcing me to walk or bum rides. Lastly, this incident happened. I dunno if someone was drunk and just pulled an idiot, or someone is a truly bad driver, but they mangled my car.

The worst part of the whole mangling was that they didn't even leave a note with their number and name so I could call them and find out what happened. The car can be fixed, and besides pissing me off to have my personal property damaged, it could have been much worse. The lack of respect to take responsibility for this, and be a fucking coward... that's what made me madder than anything. Someone said I was being stupid for being upset about someone hitting me, and should not care because it's going to be paid for one way or another by me... but how would you feel if someone hit your car and drove away without manning up and taking responsibility? You'd be fucking pissed. I think I was and am justified in being upset.

Alas, there isn't any reason for me to be upset any longer, so I'm gonna let it go. I spent my time upset, but it'll get fixed. It'll buff. My trans cable is getting fixed tomorrow, and soon I will get the bumper and light fixed. Eventually my car will be whole again, and the cycle of 3s can begin again... hopefully further on down the road. I really need a break from fixing my car!

Who knew a new car would be such a pain! Jeez.

~Ian

Monday, March 23, 2009

Why can't we all just get along?

Let me start by saying I am probably going to piss people off with this blog. You may or may not be offended by what I am about to say, but I honestly, don't care. I have something to say, and I am going to say it. If you are sensitive or get offended easily, stop reading now.

I'm pissed off. Every day, everywhere you always hear about someone having issues with someone else. I'm not talking abut small trivial issues, because I get sick of other people's shit too. I'm talking about subjects that, in this day and age, we should not have. Things that should have died out years ago, but still live strong in a society that is so blended that we can't even say we are one thing or another. If you haven't figured out what I'm talking about, you're a fucking moron.

I'm going to be talking about some pretty touchy subjects. I'm going to get in deep to some subjects some people won't touch. I want to go there because I am willing to voice my opinions in hopes of helping people see that things aren't always what they seem. Read on if you dare.

I'm sooooooooooooo tired of racism. So sick of it. Yes, I'm white. By the claims of popular society, I should have no say or anger over the subject. I should feel remorse for what "my people" did. I should work towards improving the lives of those of color. I've got two words for all of that. Fuck off. What happened with slavery was wrong. Totally wrong. The way people in this country and around the world have been treated because of the color of their skin is disgusting. I definitely think that reparations should have been paid for what happened.

But I do not think that people should still be blaming anyone else or society for their situations now. I could claim that my life is forever altered for having Irish blood, and what the English did to my people. I could also be angry and upset about how the Irish were treated in this country. I'm not. I was never personally victimized or mistreated so why should I blame others for what never happened to me? I get that people still hold racist beliefs. I don't know why but they do. I've never seen the world in black and white. My four very best friends are black. I've had friends of every race, and never had a problem with them. I see the world as it should be... it doesn't matter what your skin color is. It matters what kind of person you are.

I'm sick of people talking about Obama. Yes he is half black. So what? It is well established that people of any race can be very successful. It was about time we had someone who wasn't white in the White House. Eventually, I know we will have a female president. We are the most culturally diverse country in the world, but we still have one of the worst race problems. We still act sometimes as if it is the 1950s. Some people still act as if they are superior just because of their skin pigmentation.

I also hate the judgement of a whole race or culture based on a select group. There are dumb, ignorant, fuck-ups in every group, and they seem to be the ones that everyone is judged by. Not every black person is a thug or gangsta or a n***a (I hate that word. I think it's not a term of endearment, and should not be used ever. Yes, I'm white, I don't give a fuck, it bothers me). Not every white person is a honky redneck hillbilly. Not every Native American is an alcoholic gambler living off the government. We have successful individuals from every culture and it's about fucking time we realized it.

Now racism is only part of my issue. I hate the way people perceive each other and treat each other. It bothers the hell out of me. But you wanna know what bothers me even more? People using their race or the past as an excuse. I HATE, abso-fucking-lutely hate it when people do that. I swear, the next time I hear someone say they didn't get something because of their skin color, I'm going to slug them. It's ignorant and stupid. If you can't get something because you aren't good enough, then accept it as that. Yes, there are still stupid ass racists who screw people out of things that they deserve, but that is getting to be less of a problem by the day. We can't use excuses anymore, we just have to suck it up and deal with things as they are. I also think that people getting free handouts or preferential treatment because of what you are is what's causing most of the problems. Again, i do agree with reparations, and giving back for what was taken, but I believe that in this day and age, that we can stop using that excuse. Helping people because they don't want to try and want to just use excuses to get by is shameful. Anybody who does that ought to be ashamed of themselves, and the people who give those handouts and BS are just as guilty and should be just as ashamed.

Now before you get too angry, I believe that some people do need help. I know people who have worked their asses off, but just could not get the same opportunities, and got a helping hand that launched them. I am ok with that. I am more than willing to give to and associate with a cause like that. What I am not willing to accept is helping those who won't help themselves, and simply live off others. People who believe they deserve something because of their color and think it is owed to them by society. If you can't earn it yourself, regardless of what you are, then you don't deserve it, period.

Something that goes along with racism is sexism. It's fucking silly. Women have earned the right to stand along side men in any venture they choose. I don't think that anything is strictly for men or for women. A lot of hard asses get all riled up over women doing their job. Get over it. Women are not subservient to men in any way, shape, or form, and to think so is really really immature. I remember how angry some people got over the movie G.I. Jane. Special Forces are still a male only thing, but I think one day, it could change. I don't know when or how but I wouldn't mind it. To assume anyone is not good enough for something because of gender is the same as doing it because of race. Everyone has the right to choose their own path, and not be told what they can and can't do because of who or what they are. We have come too far as a species to keep acting like this.

Ok now that I'm done pissing off one group of people it's time to move on to my next group.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am not a fan of organized religion. I think that it is the single worst thing in this world. I am a man of faith. Don't think me an atheist or anything like that. I love my God and I love my own personal beliefs. What I have a problem with is people telling what I SHOULD believe, and what is right to believe. I also think it's entirely hypocritical. The 5th Commandment says "thou shalt not Kill" yet Religion is the leading cause of death in human history. Billions of people have died for loving a "different God". Oddly enough, when you read the Bible... we all have the same God. Hmmmmmmm.

I've been to a few churches and study groups, and a few of them we good. They simply talked about worshiping, about loving God, and living a good life. They talked about being a generally good person, repenting for your sins, believing in a higher purpose, and spreading good will and love. I am OK with all of that, because their goal is to spread the Word of God (I'll get to this in a minute) and faith in a peaceful loving manner. Some churches and religions don't feel that way. They TELL people how to worship their God. They TELL people how to act, behave, and live their lives. They TELL them if they don't follow a strict rigid guideline, they will forever burn in Hell. No free passes, no forgiveness, if you fuck up, you burn. No pressure. They TELL people all of those things, then the people running that church commit awful crimes and act as if they are God themselves and are above human law. I think that is morally and just plain wrong. It's things like that, that make me hate Religion as a whole. I feel very bad for the good religious people out there because as with everything... the actions of few cause the pain for many. I have to say that I do fall in a hypocritical group in the sense that I judge all of religion by what a certain group does, but I feel in my heart and in my beliefs that the world would be so much better with out organized religion.

My next issue is with the Bible. I have read it, and do continue to read from it from time to time. I believe it is a great source for inspiration and for stories that teach good lessons. The Bible is nothing more than a book of inspirational stories. I don't get how people can believe it is the literal Word of God. Actually, I do know how people can be led into that idea, but that goes with that TELLING thing again. Besides the fact that some of the things in the Bible are scientifically impossible (I can hear the people getting very angry now) the Bible has been re-written, re-organized, and edited so many times, how can it be even close to the original thing? How can we know if any of it is even true? The Bible didn't just drop from the heavens. It was written by the hand of man, and is therefore, the Word of Man Supposedly Inspired by God. Again, I think it a great source of inspiration, but nothing to take literally.

All in all, my beliefs on organized religion and the fact that it is one of the worst things in human history (and also has brought on some of the best things, but it doesn't outweigh all the bad it has done) are held by others. I don't believe Jesus, or any of the spiritual leaders you read about in the Bible would condone the way people are acting in their name. I think that they would be ashamed of those people who call themselves Christians, Jews and Muslims. They preached peace, love, and understanding, and I don't feel or see any of that these days. All I see is anger, war, and ignorance. You can't preach love and good will with an assault rifle in your hand.

So I'm done complaining now about a few things that bother me. Maybe I will work on a few of my other annoyances another day but I hope you come away from reading this a little upset. Upset about how our world is and how people treat each other over silly things. Upset about how our belief structure is built. Upset that we can't grow up and get along with others. People always wonder how humanity will end. The answer is by our own hands. I hope you learned something here today. If you think less of me because of my beliefs and because of what I wrote, I'm ok with that. I can live with that because I am comfortable with myself and my thoughts. I will leave you to make your own assumptions. I will leave you to make or have your own opinions or beliefs. My goal here today wasn't to change your mind. It was to educate you a little bit on the way I see things. Goodnight everybody and God Bless.

~Ian

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Love what you have... you may lose it...

Everyone hears the old saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone." Some of us have learned what that means.

Every person has regrets. They have something they look back on and wish didn't happen. Some people look back and see a mistake or an event that they wish they could go back and change. We lose something that we took for granted.

I can't come out and say I've got a major life changing event that has forever altered my existence. I know there are plenty of people who have lived through horrific things and come out on the other side without something that used to be vital to their existence. There are people who have lost someone who was their life.

What I can say is I do know the feeling to an extent. I have lived through some events that made me realize I squandered something amazing, or I lost out on something that I never realized was so important. It leads me to this conclusion... Live your life knowing that you are blessed.

Every day that you wake up, be thankful for everything you have in life. Be thankful for the people you have. I used to feel like I had no family. I used to feel very alone. One day I woke up and realized that I had an awesome one all along. I was so focused on myself and my life, that I failed to realize who I had around me. I saw a father who, despite his own problems and issues, never ever let me fail or failed to be there when I needed him. When I realized that he became my hero, and has been ever since. I finally found my sister. I realized I had the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

Some days I dread going to work. I dread the long hours, monotonous work, and the BS I have to put up with. Then I realize some people dread waking up because they don't have a job to go to. I have a secure job, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and money in my pocket. Every once in a while I have a car that works. Millions of people in the world don't have any of that. They suffer day to day while I am lucky enough to be blessed with all the comforts I have.

I was lucky enough to play 15 years of football. I LOVE football. I miss every day that I don't step on a field to play. I ache to put pads on and hit someone... but injuries took that away from me. 15 years of getting hit and hitting people left me with a battered, broken, and surgically repaired body. I wouldn't trade it away for anything. I ache every day. My neck, my back, my knee. I get headaches, I don't remember some things, I feel older than I am... but I would never trade it for a life without football. I miss it so much that it hurts sometimes. I always wonder if I had done a few things differently... would I still be playing today? I wonder if my life would be better or worse? I'm not sure, but I would never change what I've done. I had a great run, and I have a lot of great memories. At least I have the battle scars to prove that i played hard. I got to play at a great high school, and got to play college ball. How many others can say that? How many people can say they got to do something they love for so long?

So, all in all, what I am trying to get across is that you should appreciate what you have, and never envy those who have more than you. You should appreciate what you have, because you never know when you may lose it. Love your life... no matter what bad things happen to you... know that you are very very lucky to have what you do, and that you could lose anything at everything at any time. Live for your enjoyment... not for your envy.

Carpe Diem... Seize the Day.

~Ian

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

FML? How about you STFU

What is it with this whole Fuck My Life fad? Why is every one so damn whiny and upset about how their life is? Sure I make some complaints about my life.. I am not immune to feeling a bit down sometimes, but to build a whole subculture fad around the concept of FML is downright stupid.

Is this the society we live in today? Has the emo, slit my wrists, I'm so misunderstood, I hate the world mentality taken over? I hate it when suburban white kids with money, security and a shot at a good education cry and whine about how HARD life is and how much their life sucks. Shut the fuck up. Those kids growing up in a ghetto with one or no parents, struggling to make ends meet, getting a shitty education, but they still press on and won't let things get them down... they might have a reason to complain a bit. You crybaby middle class whiners need to get a clue.

I used to whine a little bit back in the day. Then my dad took me down to a GHETTO part of Dallas, and I understood... I had it EASY. I had everything I could ever ask for. I grew up and realized that life could be much much worse. I still have a few minor gripes with my world, but honestly, I have a good steady job, a steady income, a roof over my head, a car (when it wants to work), and a great family and great friends. I've got more than a lot of people, so I generally keep most of my complaining to a dull murmur.

So if you live a generally comfortable life, and most of your needs are being met... Shut up. Quit crying and go make something of yourself. Quit getting gay haircuts, putting on mascara, wearing stupidly tight jeans and bitching any time someone makes fun of you or picks on you. Act like a viable member of society and maybe people will stop treating you like the damn fool you are.

Stop with the FML shit. No one cares you wimp. STFU and get on with your life.

~Ian

I'm a Mutli-blogger

So I am now a writer on another blog. I feel the need to share this with you guys because I won't be double posting my stuff. So to check on my new blog, The Game, a sports related feed where I dissect happenings in the wide world of athletics, go to Hustler of the Weak and check it out.

The site also contains blogs by several other people and if you enjoy my work, you'll enjoy theirs as well. For other stuff related to HOTW and its creator, check out BkJaxon and enjoy the content!

~Ian

Monday, March 9, 2009

Row, row, row your boat...

SO i found out the date of my departure from Corpus Christi, TX to begin my journey to my new home port in Norfolk, VA. June 11. On that day, they will finally take the boy out of Texas... but will never pry Texas out of the boy.

Sure I've lived outside of Texas to go to school, but hell I could come home every once in a while. When I move to Norfolk, it will be more than a hop, skip and a jump. It will be more like a flying leap, or at least a very long drive.

Do not get me wrong, I am very excited to get to go somewhere different. I did join the Navy to go places, so being back in Texas, while nice and very accessible to family and friends, is not what I was planning. So moving to the largest Navy base in the world seems like a good adventure. I hear good and bad things about it, but I plan to make my own judgments.

So anyways, I will be shipping off for there in around 3 months, which means I better enjoy my last few months in this area. I hope to spend time with my sister in about a month (car willing) and maybe time with my friends who will be down here for Spring Break. I just have to get time off from work, which at this stage, seems mostly unlikely (except for a week in April for which I already have a leave chit).

Work has been.... WORK. Let's just say busy is an understatement. Long hours, and late nights are the everyday norm around my life, and days off are a rarity. We have a detachment leaving soon, so preparation for that has been hectic, and getting things to work, even more so. Hopefully, once they leave, things will slow down a little bit and we won't be running around like a group of headless chickens. Maybe.

So anyways that's my Navy life as of late... just work and more work, with an extra helping of work. Oh and a side of work to go with my work. Oh please hold the sleep and social life... I don't need any of that. Just sprinkle on a little extra work instead.

~Ian

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Wishing

I wish I had a day off.

I wish I enjoyed my job more.

I wish I was more tolerant of others.

I wish I could understand people better.

I wish I understood myself better.

I wish I could be myself without fear of people judging me.

I wish I could not care what other people think.

I wish I cared about other people more.

I wish I didn't fence myself off.

I wish I didn't pour everything into those around me, and leave myself so vulnerable.

I wish I wasn't afraid.

I wish I wasn't so alone.

I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life.

I wish I was happy with where I'm at, and stop looking for greener pastures.

I wish I could smile and feel like it was real.

I wish my heart wasn't so mangled.

I wish my mind wasn't so twisted.

I wish I was happy.

I wish I was inspired.

I wish I was driven.

I wish I could feel like I was making a difference.

I wish I could see the good things in myself and not all the bad.

I wish I could stop feeling like I'm whining.

I wish I could have an original thought.

I wish I could see my family.

I wish I could see my friends.

I wish I could live one of those movie lives.

I wish I could be like all of those heroes I read about.

I wish I could be honest with you.

I wish you could be honest with me.

I wish...

Monday, February 23, 2009

For Fucks Sake... What were they thinking?

Ok, so my day didn't start so well. My car failed to start before work. No biggie, change the battery, all is well. I got a ride to work, and had roving watch from 8 to 4. I work nights so the different schedule threw me a little out of whack, but I got over it.

It was a pretty pointless and boring watch, and I figured it was just a whatever kind of day. So I get off watch, and check to see what kind of battery I need. I pop the hood... I can't find the battery. I know I am not mechanically stupid, and I'm no genius at it either, but I usually have no issue finding the battery in a car. So i look and I look, then I remember an episode of Mythbusters where they are working on a Dodge Intrepid, and remember them saying something about removing the tire to get to the battery. So I look near the passenger side tire, and under the air filter and there it was. COMPLETELY FUCKING INACCESSIBLE from above. You have to take off the wheel and remove an access panel to get to the battery. WTF? Pain in the ass.

So me being the genius I am, I didn't really pay attention to the sizes of the bolts, because I figured I could just buy a tool kit and I would be good to go. So I get a ride to get a battery and the place we get the battery has shit for tool kits. The only one they have with anything resembling what I might need was $250 and the salesman said all I would need was a 7/16 and a 5/16 wrench. He said he had replaced one before and it was a piece of cake. So i get the stuff, go back to my car and start trying to work.

I get the car jacked up, the tire off and look at the bolts..... both of the new wrenches I have don't fit. FUCK. So I ask around and find a socket set... that fits the bolts on the mount and battery but not to the access panel. Not only that but the space to actually crank out the bolts is tiny so it takes FOREVER. So I find a pair of vice grips and manage to get the bolts out of the access panel, and wrench it out because it doesn't just pop out... no... you have to finagle and torque and twist... FFS! So I start taking off the top mount bracket, and one of the bolts is just so that when you twist the socket, you touch the battery terminal and gr0und it so you get sparks and shocked. So I shocked myself like 12 times and finally got the bolt out, old battery out, and new battery in, proceeding to shock myself about 12 more times putting the mount bracket back in.

I finally got everything back in and together, and the car starts and runs fine now. After an hour or so of fighting with the stupidest battery set up ever. I was so worn out from the frustration, effort, and ordeal. I really think that some people don't really think out how they design things and some shit isn't supposed to be so fucking difficult. I mean would you want to remove a circuit board to get at your tv remote batteries? Or do you think they should be right under a nice accessible door? People really should think stuff like this out when they design things. Oh well... I hope it will be a long while until i have to deal with that again... and at that point I will be ready!

So how was YOUR day?

~Ian

Monday, February 16, 2009

Drifter

This is the prologue to my new story. Tell me what you think.

On July 9, 2012, 95 percent of the population died. In less than one month, nearly 7 billion people were wiped out. Whether it was pestilence, nuclear bombs and their fallout, or the war in general, life on Earth was totally and utterly altered.

Those of us who survived, were left to make an existence out of nothing. We had a world raped of its resources, demolished by its wars, and pillaged by its people. Maybe it was better to have died, then to have lived.

Communities began to come together, and for a while things looked up. Unfortunately, human nature soon took over and the lesser side of humanity showed itself again. The communities became as dangerous as the open unprotected lands.

Some people chose to brave these open lands, moving from place to place, either alone or in small groups. These people were known as drifters. One drifter wanted nothing but to be left alone, but the world needed more of him. The people are in need of a hero, and the most unlikely person has to rise to the challenge. This is his story.


I would love some constructive criticism on the premise, and I would love to hear ideas and suggestions.

~Ian

Saturday, February 14, 2009

24 and counting....

Another Valentine's Day alone.

*shrug*

24 in a big fat row. I'm implied and led to think I should feel bad about it. I should feel unloved, unhappy, and feel like something is missing.

Fuck that.

I think this is a pretty stupid holiday. Yes it is about celebrating the love you have in your life. I have plenty of that. I have a very loving family and group of friends. I know that I am loved and cared for, so why should I feel bad about not having a "valentine"?

So to all of my dearest friends and family, I love you.

I wish you all a very happy Valentine's Day.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Tale of Two People

I had a unique childhood. Even though I had siblings, I grew up by myself. Now I don't want you to think that I was neglected by them, or that we were estranged... more that I didn't know my sister, and my brother was more like a cousin.

My brother is my mother's son. For that reason alone... he and I always had a gap between us. He was her golden boy. I love my brother, don't get me wrong. He and I have always had a pretty good relationship, but we were never that close. I really never went to him for advice, and besides the mutual interests we shared, he and I really didn't have a lot in common. We also had a big age gap, so that didn't really help much.

My sister lived with her mom in South Carolina. I never really knew her in any capacity until my teens, and at that point, we also had a pretty narrow relationship. We got along pretty well, but we never spent much time together, so we never got a big chance to let our relationship grow.

So as you can see... I pretty much grew up as an only child. That changed for me when our father separated from my mother. He and my sister began reconciling their relationship, and in that time, I became part of that process. I started to realize what I had... and what I had missed my whole life.

The day I consider the turning point for the Townsend family was April 23, 2005. My sister and father came to see my conference track meet in Austin. I wasn't able to run because of a lingering hamstring injury, and I felt bad, because it was the first and only sporting event my sister ever made it to. But the day was not lost. We had the best time just bonding. Our father told us about the amazing date he went on the night before, and my sister and I thought he was like a high school kid with a crush. (the crush is now his wife and our step mom! she rocks.) We laughed, we talked, we told stories. We wandered around downtown Austin, and ended up in a bar drinking Harps, and sharing tear-filled and touching moments.

Since then... I have found that one of the most amazing people on the planet is my sister. She and I have become incredibly close, and share so many things on so many levels that it is like we did grow up together. Sure we still find out new things about each other, and we are constantly making up for lost time, but for the most part it is like we aren't on our 4 year of being true siblings.

The difference my sister has made on my life is huge. She has guided me into who I am, and without her influence, I would be a different person. She always says "I spent the first 21 years of Zachary's life (Zachary is her brother from another father) and I would spend the next 21 of mine raising you".

Not many people fully realize the impact that a sibling can have on you. After growing up with no true sibling relationship, and finding the best one 4 years ago, I see it. I know what it's like on both sides, and I have to say I prefer what I have now. I love having someone who I can go to any time I need advice, someone to have fun with, and someone who gets me so completely that there is no doubt that we are related.

So to my sister... whom I can never thank you enough for what you have done for me, and for what you are to me. You make me a much better person, and I hope that I have had as much of a profound effect in your life as you do in mine.

Love you sis.

~Ian

Monday, February 9, 2009

A-R*d is a CHEAT!

I warn you now... this will be a pretty heated rant. This is a pretty serious subject in my eyes and I have very strong feelings about it. You've been warned.

*Steps on soapbox*

Alex Rodriguez used steroids. Surprise surprise. I mean, I always suspected he used. He is a world class douche bag, so it was logical to assume he was also using steroids. Anyone else see a pattern here? Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez... all enormous douche tools and all of them were users.

I get being an asshole. I am one, but there's a line between being an asshole and a complete ass clown. I also get wanting to be the best at something, but you have to play within the rules. I know what it's like to pound yourself in the gym, run your legs off, practice 'til you pass out, but I have never and would never resort to using steroids. I have seen what it does to people who I have played with and against, and it's just not worth the risk.

Those who take steroids and performance enhancing substances (not pot or alcohol, let's be smart here folks) are cheaters and should be banned for life. I have no tolerance for it. If you can't be the best within the rules, then you don't deserve to play at all. I have no sympathy, no forgiveness, nothing to those who use steroids. I think that everything you did while using should be taken from you along with all the money you made. I think you should be treated like a common criminal for lying, cheating, and stealing.

Anyways back to A-R*d who will now always be looked down upon (even more than he already was) and will effectively end all the talk about how he might end up being the best player in baseball history. He is now in the class with Clemens, Bonds, and McGwire of players whose enormous stats are now tainted with an *. He is now a pariah of baseball.

You know what I say to that?

Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.

So Alex, I hope it was worth it to you. I hope you go to sleep every night in your bed made of the stacks of money you have extorted from the baseball fans knowing you cheated them. You have to live with that you dickbag.

I hope you get suspended. I hope you get kicked out. I hope the Yankees suck so hard this year that they miss the playoffs again. And I hope you get blamed for it. I hope they treat you like dirt, because that is what you are... dirt on the face of baseball. The man who spoke out against the use of steroids, and who said he would never use... way to go jackass.

Fuck Barry, Fuck Roger, Fuck Mark, and now Fuck Alex. I hope you all burn in baseball hell.

Have a nice day.

*Steps off soapbox*

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Pride

When I used to watch military movies, hear about the fighting our troops were doing for our freedoms, listened to songs about those who battle for our country, I felt a little bit of pride.

After just 11 months in the Navy, those things mean so much more to me for one reason: PRIDE. I feel a swell in my chest when the National Anthem is played. I hurt when I hear about the troops we lose over in the Middle East. I burn with anger when I hear people talking about killing Americans.

I have always been a born and bred, red blooded American. I am proud of my Irish and English heritage, and proud to be from the great state of Texas, but to be an American... means a massive amount to me. My father served in the Air Force, and his Father and Uncles before him served in the Army Air Corps. Serving my country runs in my family's blood, and to continue that amazing trend is my absolute honor.

I can't say that I am fighting for our freedom. I am not standing on the front lines defending this country against all enemies. I am not on guard standing tall against evil. What I am, is a man who decided to serve his country in a way that fits his personality and his skills, and with those things, I will make myself and my Navy better. I don't think I am or pretend to be some American hero. I don't believe I am someone who deserves thanks for serving this great country, or to be bought things for what I do for the USA. I think I am just doing my part. I am simply proud to serve and honored to call myself a United States Sailor.

Thank you to my brothers and sisters in arms, thank you for everything you do, whether it is defend our lines or fix our ships, aircraft, and vehicles. Thank you to those who do those things necessary to keep our military running. Thank you to each and every man and woman who serves this great country of ours. Stand tall, be proud, and salute smartly... you serve the greatest military in the greatest country in the world.

For those who have fallen,
For those who still stand tall,
And for those who are yet to come,
BE PROUD!
To the past,
The present,
And the future Sailors, Soldiers, Marines, and Airmen,
Be proud of who you are,
What you've done,
And who you will become.

Believe in yourself,
Those who stand beside you,
And those you defend.

Be proud of what you stand for,
What you protect,
And what you are fighting for.

HONOR!
COURAGE!
COMMITMENT!

HOO YAH U.S.A.!!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Public Service Announcement No. 3: Laugh, it's good for you

I believe in the power of laughter. I come from a naturally funny family. If you are ever around us, you are guaranteed a lot of laughs. All of my friends are funny. The great things is they all have their own humor style.

It is a proven fact that laughing makes you feel better. It releases endorphins and there is nothing better when you are feeling down then a good laugh. I know when I am in the dumps, I automatically feel better after laughing... and sure it may not last long, but it is still nice to get that good feeling.

There is a reason why we love telling those funny stories and jokes to everyone. It makes us feel good to relive funny times, and to make other people laugh with them. Your life is so much better and much more enjoyable with laughter in it.

I go out of my way sometimes to make people laugh. Whether it is telling a bad or stupid joke, or doing something entirely dumb, I will do it to get a laugh. I really don't have to try to make someone laugh, but sometimes that extra effort is worth it.

So the point of this PSA is to bring up this point. Do a little (or a lot) of laughing. Try to find the humor in every day life. If you do that, you will find yourself enjoying your life that much more... and will make even the most dull, boring, or monotonous things seem a lot better.

So in the immortal words of George Carlin, LAUGH YOU BASTARDS IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!

~Ian

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Are you serious?

There is a picture of Michael Phelps smoking "what appears to be" pot.



Oh the uproar. Oh the humanity. How can one of our sport role models do such a thing. (Can you sense the sarcasm?)

He is a 23 year old. He is entitled to bonehead mistakes. I mean seriously.... how else do you think he eats a table full of food 5 times a day? Ever heard of the munchies?

This really doesn't bother me, and everyone who actually knows Phelps says it was out of character, and that he made a silly mistake. No one is really making that big of a deal over it, and even his sponsors and the IOC are just brushing it off. Now the idiot police in the county where the picture was taken, are thinking of pressing criminal charges. WHY? For what reason would it serve any good? What difference would it make to do that? All you are doing is bringing more unneeded light to a situation, that in my mind, is over and done with. Plus let us not forget he would have to test positive, or they would have to find proof of possession... neither of which they have. Case closed.

The picture was posted, the damage was done, the apology was issued... move on. I think his only real mistake was letting the picture get taken. So he smokes grass... so what? You know how many famous people smoke weed or do worse? How many of our upstanding public figures do illegal things? Lets charge them all and put them all in jail. While we are at it, lets look into the backgrounds of the police and the lawyers and judges. Put them in jail too. How about the media? Shall we just go ahead and put the whole of the human race in jail? Seriously... it was a picture, and he said sorry. It isn't like it was steroids... I mean pot really isn't a performance enhancing drug... except for enhancing your eating and sleeping abilities.

I still think Phelps is a viable role model and someone any athlete can look up to, and all this does is prove that he is human and can make a mistake. What happened to forgiveness? Aren't we all entitled to screw up now and again?

The worst part of this whole thing is the reaction of the public. Most people are just saying "whatever" but some people are blowing it out of proportion. A select few people... very select are claiming his race has something to do with him getting off easy. What? Where are your brains at? I have noticed an upturn in racism lately. I don't know why all of the sudden its all about race again. Bryan brought it up very well in a post he did on Facebook, where people are acting a fool because we have a half black president. I really don't want to go into this subject, because I think racism is stupid, and no one race is impervious to idiocy and lunacy. The color of your skin doesn't determine if you are a total mental case or dumb as a brick. It all has to do with what is on the inside... and guess what... we all look the same in there. So let us not be stupid and bring race into something so silly.

I support you Mike. You're still an American Sports Hero in my mind! Now put the bong down and go out there and swim some more laps!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Lazy post

1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
insecurity

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
um.... like sophomore year in college? Track thing....

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
sleeping.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
sleeping.

5. Are you any good at math?
mostly, except for those dumb types of math that somehow 2+2 does not =4. that's just fucking retarded.

6. Your prom night?
forgettable.

7. Do you have any famous relatives?
depends on your definition of famous

8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
yeah.... and boy do they want their money....

9. Do you know the words to your MySpace song?
sure

10. Last thing u received in the mail?
a gift from Bryan

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
none, surprisingly... I need to fix that....

13. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
Fleetwood Mac, Pat Benitar, and REO Speedwagon.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Who doesn't?

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
All the work I have had done since joining the Navy. I had appointments for like a week straight. Fuck that.

16. What is out your back door?
I don't have a back door.

18. Do you like the ocean?
It's overrated.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?
actually yes.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
sure... in my youth.

22. Something you are excited about?
a day in the future.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
cherry.

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
no.

25. Describe your keychain?
a car key, a room key, and a UT thingy.

26. Where do you keep your change?
around.

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?
Um.......... dunno?

28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
I have a Navy Peacoat, which is currently in the possession of the sister.

29. What do you think of the person you copied this from?
a friend of the sister I haven't met. (the friend that is)

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
well since the only door is the door to the outside world... closed. It would get a bit drafty and I wouldn't want everyone sticking their head in....

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Congrats Steelers!



Congrats to the Pittsburgh Steelers on winning a record setting sixth Super Bowl, and in such a fantastic fashion. This was one of the best SBs I have ever watched, and I was very impressed with both teams will and fight to not give up. Congrats to both teams for making it to the Big Game.

Now the wait begins for next season.... *sigh*

Super Bowl XLIII

So here we are on the day of the biggest sports event on the American sports calendar. What a match up we have too. The defensively dominant Steelers vs. the entirely improbable Cardinals. I doubt ANY expert picked this SB match up, and if anyone claims to, they are liars.

The Steelers are usually a decent pick for a chance at the Big Game, but the Cardinals are almost never even in the conversation. True, they have made decent strides the past few years, but no one ever saw this coming. They blazed their way to an easy NFC East title, but after that they fluttered. They boasted a 0-5 record on the East Coast and staggered into the playoffs as a probable first round exit. They dominated the likewise surprising Falcons, then went for another expected East Coast beatdown to Carolina. WRONG. They pounded the Panthers and faced another unlikely opponent, the Eagles who upset last years Champs, the Giants. The Eagles thumped the Cards first time around, but this time, Arizona jumped out early and held off the Eagles to make it to the Ultimate Game.

The Steelers destroyed people with their defense, and the good enough offense. They handled the Chargers, then won a physical defensive battle with the Ravens to make it to their second Super Bowl in 4 years.

So who will win this David and Goliath battle? Will the underdog strike big like last year? Will defense dominate a powerful offense? I really don't know. I want to make a prediction, but I Don't really have a good prediction. My head says the Steelers will pull it out, but something still tells me that the Cardinals have a bigger chance than anyone really thinks. This is probably one of the hardest games to predict because it all depends on which Cardinals show up. Is it going to be the Playoff Cards or the Last Quarter of the Regular Season Cards? That is what will determine this game. However, I could be wrong. That powerful team from the past 3 games could show up and the Steelers could still hold them off. Who knows? We will see in a few short hours!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

100 years of BEERS!

Shiner Brewery from little Shiner, Texas just celebrated 100 years of brewing some damn fine beer.

Their finest achievement, Shiner Bock, is their staple brew, but they also make special ones like Shiner Cheer, Shiner Black (another fantastic brew), Shiner Blonde, etc. Over the past 5 years they have made special anniversary brews, of which I am ashamed to say I have only tried three: 97 (which, because of its popularity became Shiner Black), 99, and 100.

Anyways, I wanted to say Thank You to the brewers of Shiner Beers for their fine work and for giving me a damn fine beer to drink! And another thanks to my SISTER for handing me a bottle with a yellow label and a ram on it and telling me to drink it. I owe you so much!



That is my collection of Shiner bottles... all the types I have tried... There is only one that is currently brewed that I haven't tried, and that is Shiner Light... which I am questioning whether I ought to try, but I am thinking... why not, if only to add another bottle to my collection. And so you know... they are all empty. Do you really think I would waste good beer? Shame on you...

Friday, January 23, 2009

Public Service Announcement No. 2: What people should NOT wear in public

This is a re-post from on of my very first posts on this site, but I figured this is a perfect subject for a PSA. So here is PSA #2!

What People Should NOT Wear In Public!

Ok Ive been laughing my ass off and shuddering at some of the things I see people wearing these days, so I complied a list of things people should not wear. I broke it down by categories.

FAT PEOPLE:
Not the slightly chubby, or kinda big people, although it could apply, I'm talking "waiting for a heart attack to happen" fat people.

-Spandex. No, never, not even a choice. It's rude and disgusting.

-Tight clothes of any kind. We do not need to see fat rolls accentuated in fabric. It just makes me wanna hurl.

-Anything see through.... *shudder*... that's just wrong.

-Any shorts that come above the knees. Its bad enough we have to see your cankles, but having to see those horrible fat thighs is enough to make me want to gouge my eyes out.

-Anything sleeveless. We do not need to see your fat ass arms. It's really just not attractive at all. You see these fat guys wearing muscle shirts... its kinda stupid... cause the whole point of the shirt is to have... muscles... and not have your fat hanging out of the arm holes.

-Any piece of clothing, that has words proclaiming "sexy, irresistible, or etc" should not be worn. And also the ones that say "Big and beautiful, or Large and in Charge." No. You are none of these so please don't give yourself the appearance of an idiot too.

OLD PEOPLE

Never..... never ever ever ever wear anything tight or with too little fabric. We do not, I repeat do not need to see your old withered body in spandex or in short shorts. Its a crime against humanity. If in doubt, more fabric and more room is always good. I mean c'mon, seriously, you cannot believe people want to see sagging and stuff in places its not supposed to be do you? And... *shudder*... please keep the hemline below the knees. Once again, its bad enough we have to see the veiny calves, but we do not need to see those thunder thighs. Its enough to make me want to pour salt in my eyes.

UGLY PEOPLE

Bag on the head. That's about the only thing that can help you out. Maybe a lot of plastic surgery. But a bag costs like 10 cents and you could make it a fashion statement. "Head Bags by Calvin Klein" or whatever.

MIS-SHAPEN PEOPLE

You know what I'm talking about... they just don't look right. I think the rules that applied to the old and fat people apply here as well. Anything tight or with too little fabric, needs to be sent to Goodwill immediately.


This list is just a friendly reminder to those who shouldn't wear certain things... NOT TO. Please respect the people around you, and don't make them look at your horribly disfigured body. Certain things are made for certain people, and anything that subjects the public to looking at you and seeing things we don't want to see is just plain wrong, and should be punishable by law. So thanks for reading... and have a nice day!

Public Service Announcement No. 1: Eating somewhere too often

I am going to start a new thing called Public Service Announcements because these are a few things I think everyone should know. This won't be a regular thing or something done on a timeline, but just whenever I feel like I have something I need to share.

So here we go with Numero Uno!

Eating Somewhere Too Often!!

Here are a few ways to tell if you eat somewhere far too often, and might want to think about changing your habits.

1) You don't have to use a menu. This is rather minor... because if you have a favorite thing, then why change? But switching it up from time to time may be a good idea, but catastrophe may ensue thereafter but more on that later.

2) You don't even have to order. They bring you your drink, your appetizer and your meal with out even having to ask. Time to rethink your dining venue.

3) You decide to switch up your order and the waiter either notices this change and says something, or totally freaks because they are already making the food the THOUGHT you were going to eat. I have seen both happen, and the latter is not a pretty sight.

4) If you have a relatively set schedule of going to this place of eatery, and then one day you are late, and the people say something about it... Or you have a set day that you go, and you miss one day, and someone from the restaurant calls you asking if everything is ok.

5) Every one knows your name and your story. EVERYONE... even the new people... you are a part of their training...

6) You have your own special table JUST. FOR. YOU.

7) Often you don't even have to pay because you have dropped so much cash on the countless meals there, that they often give you meals for free, because you are "a part of the family".

Now I don't want you to get the wrong ideas here. None of the occurrences are a bad thing... it is just a sign that you MAY need to find somewhere else to eat just to switch things up. I have been witness or have been the person involved in every one of these situations so I am experienced in the area. It is just good to be random sometimes, and it also keeps those at the restaurant on their toes. Never want them too get too used to your schedule!

So that is my first PSA, and I hope it has been informative and helpful. More to come soon enough!

~Ian