Monday, February 23, 2009

For Fucks Sake... What were they thinking?

Ok, so my day didn't start so well. My car failed to start before work. No biggie, change the battery, all is well. I got a ride to work, and had roving watch from 8 to 4. I work nights so the different schedule threw me a little out of whack, but I got over it.

It was a pretty pointless and boring watch, and I figured it was just a whatever kind of day. So I get off watch, and check to see what kind of battery I need. I pop the hood... I can't find the battery. I know I am not mechanically stupid, and I'm no genius at it either, but I usually have no issue finding the battery in a car. So i look and I look, then I remember an episode of Mythbusters where they are working on a Dodge Intrepid, and remember them saying something about removing the tire to get to the battery. So I look near the passenger side tire, and under the air filter and there it was. COMPLETELY FUCKING INACCESSIBLE from above. You have to take off the wheel and remove an access panel to get to the battery. WTF? Pain in the ass.

So me being the genius I am, I didn't really pay attention to the sizes of the bolts, because I figured I could just buy a tool kit and I would be good to go. So I get a ride to get a battery and the place we get the battery has shit for tool kits. The only one they have with anything resembling what I might need was $250 and the salesman said all I would need was a 7/16 and a 5/16 wrench. He said he had replaced one before and it was a piece of cake. So i get the stuff, go back to my car and start trying to work.

I get the car jacked up, the tire off and look at the bolts..... both of the new wrenches I have don't fit. FUCK. So I ask around and find a socket set... that fits the bolts on the mount and battery but not to the access panel. Not only that but the space to actually crank out the bolts is tiny so it takes FOREVER. So I find a pair of vice grips and manage to get the bolts out of the access panel, and wrench it out because it doesn't just pop out... no... you have to finagle and torque and twist... FFS! So I start taking off the top mount bracket, and one of the bolts is just so that when you twist the socket, you touch the battery terminal and gr0und it so you get sparks and shocked. So I shocked myself like 12 times and finally got the bolt out, old battery out, and new battery in, proceeding to shock myself about 12 more times putting the mount bracket back in.

I finally got everything back in and together, and the car starts and runs fine now. After an hour or so of fighting with the stupidest battery set up ever. I was so worn out from the frustration, effort, and ordeal. I really think that some people don't really think out how they design things and some shit isn't supposed to be so fucking difficult. I mean would you want to remove a circuit board to get at your tv remote batteries? Or do you think they should be right under a nice accessible door? People really should think stuff like this out when they design things. Oh well... I hope it will be a long while until i have to deal with that again... and at that point I will be ready!

So how was YOUR day?


Monday, February 16, 2009


This is the prologue to my new story. Tell me what you think.

On July 9, 2012, 95 percent of the population died. In less than one month, nearly 7 billion people were wiped out. Whether it was pestilence, nuclear bombs and their fallout, or the war in general, life on Earth was totally and utterly altered.

Those of us who survived, were left to make an existence out of nothing. We had a world raped of its resources, demolished by its wars, and pillaged by its people. Maybe it was better to have died, then to have lived.

Communities began to come together, and for a while things looked up. Unfortunately, human nature soon took over and the lesser side of humanity showed itself again. The communities became as dangerous as the open unprotected lands.

Some people chose to brave these open lands, moving from place to place, either alone or in small groups. These people were known as drifters. One drifter wanted nothing but to be left alone, but the world needed more of him. The people are in need of a hero, and the most unlikely person has to rise to the challenge. This is his story.

I would love some constructive criticism on the premise, and I would love to hear ideas and suggestions.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

24 and counting....

Another Valentine's Day alone.


24 in a big fat row. I'm implied and led to think I should feel bad about it. I should feel unloved, unhappy, and feel like something is missing.

Fuck that.

I think this is a pretty stupid holiday. Yes it is about celebrating the love you have in your life. I have plenty of that. I have a very loving family and group of friends. I know that I am loved and cared for, so why should I feel bad about not having a "valentine"?

So to all of my dearest friends and family, I love you.

I wish you all a very happy Valentine's Day.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Tale of Two People

I had a unique childhood. Even though I had siblings, I grew up by myself. Now I don't want you to think that I was neglected by them, or that we were estranged... more that I didn't know my sister, and my brother was more like a cousin.

My brother is my mother's son. For that reason alone... he and I always had a gap between us. He was her golden boy. I love my brother, don't get me wrong. He and I have always had a pretty good relationship, but we were never that close. I really never went to him for advice, and besides the mutual interests we shared, he and I really didn't have a lot in common. We also had a big age gap, so that didn't really help much.

My sister lived with her mom in South Carolina. I never really knew her in any capacity until my teens, and at that point, we also had a pretty narrow relationship. We got along pretty well, but we never spent much time together, so we never got a big chance to let our relationship grow.

So as you can see... I pretty much grew up as an only child. That changed for me when our father separated from my mother. He and my sister began reconciling their relationship, and in that time, I became part of that process. I started to realize what I had... and what I had missed my whole life.

The day I consider the turning point for the Townsend family was April 23, 2005. My sister and father came to see my conference track meet in Austin. I wasn't able to run because of a lingering hamstring injury, and I felt bad, because it was the first and only sporting event my sister ever made it to. But the day was not lost. We had the best time just bonding. Our father told us about the amazing date he went on the night before, and my sister and I thought he was like a high school kid with a crush. (the crush is now his wife and our step mom! she rocks.) We laughed, we talked, we told stories. We wandered around downtown Austin, and ended up in a bar drinking Harps, and sharing tear-filled and touching moments.

Since then... I have found that one of the most amazing people on the planet is my sister. She and I have become incredibly close, and share so many things on so many levels that it is like we did grow up together. Sure we still find out new things about each other, and we are constantly making up for lost time, but for the most part it is like we aren't on our 4 year of being true siblings.

The difference my sister has made on my life is huge. She has guided me into who I am, and without her influence, I would be a different person. She always says "I spent the first 21 years of Zachary's life (Zachary is her brother from another father) and I would spend the next 21 of mine raising you".

Not many people fully realize the impact that a sibling can have on you. After growing up with no true sibling relationship, and finding the best one 4 years ago, I see it. I know what it's like on both sides, and I have to say I prefer what I have now. I love having someone who I can go to any time I need advice, someone to have fun with, and someone who gets me so completely that there is no doubt that we are related.

So to my sister... whom I can never thank you enough for what you have done for me, and for what you are to me. You make me a much better person, and I hope that I have had as much of a profound effect in your life as you do in mine.

Love you sis.


Monday, February 9, 2009

A-R*d is a CHEAT!

I warn you now... this will be a pretty heated rant. This is a pretty serious subject in my eyes and I have very strong feelings about it. You've been warned.

*Steps on soapbox*

Alex Rodriguez used steroids. Surprise surprise. I mean, I always suspected he used. He is a world class douche bag, so it was logical to assume he was also using steroids. Anyone else see a pattern here? Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez... all enormous douche tools and all of them were users.

I get being an asshole. I am one, but there's a line between being an asshole and a complete ass clown. I also get wanting to be the best at something, but you have to play within the rules. I know what it's like to pound yourself in the gym, run your legs off, practice 'til you pass out, but I have never and would never resort to using steroids. I have seen what it does to people who I have played with and against, and it's just not worth the risk.

Those who take steroids and performance enhancing substances (not pot or alcohol, let's be smart here folks) are cheaters and should be banned for life. I have no tolerance for it. If you can't be the best within the rules, then you don't deserve to play at all. I have no sympathy, no forgiveness, nothing to those who use steroids. I think that everything you did while using should be taken from you along with all the money you made. I think you should be treated like a common criminal for lying, cheating, and stealing.

Anyways back to A-R*d who will now always be looked down upon (even more than he already was) and will effectively end all the talk about how he might end up being the best player in baseball history. He is now in the class with Clemens, Bonds, and McGwire of players whose enormous stats are now tainted with an *. He is now a pariah of baseball.

You know what I say to that?

Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.

So Alex, I hope it was worth it to you. I hope you go to sleep every night in your bed made of the stacks of money you have extorted from the baseball fans knowing you cheated them. You have to live with that you dickbag.

I hope you get suspended. I hope you get kicked out. I hope the Yankees suck so hard this year that they miss the playoffs again. And I hope you get blamed for it. I hope they treat you like dirt, because that is what you are... dirt on the face of baseball. The man who spoke out against the use of steroids, and who said he would never use... way to go jackass.

Fuck Barry, Fuck Roger, Fuck Mark, and now Fuck Alex. I hope you all burn in baseball hell.

Have a nice day.

*Steps off soapbox*

Saturday, February 7, 2009


When I used to watch military movies, hear about the fighting our troops were doing for our freedoms, listened to songs about those who battle for our country, I felt a little bit of pride.

After just 11 months in the Navy, those things mean so much more to me for one reason: PRIDE. I feel a swell in my chest when the National Anthem is played. I hurt when I hear about the troops we lose over in the Middle East. I burn with anger when I hear people talking about killing Americans.

I have always been a born and bred, red blooded American. I am proud of my Irish and English heritage, and proud to be from the great state of Texas, but to be an American... means a massive amount to me. My father served in the Air Force, and his Father and Uncles before him served in the Army Air Corps. Serving my country runs in my family's blood, and to continue that amazing trend is my absolute honor.

I can't say that I am fighting for our freedom. I am not standing on the front lines defending this country against all enemies. I am not on guard standing tall against evil. What I am, is a man who decided to serve his country in a way that fits his personality and his skills, and with those things, I will make myself and my Navy better. I don't think I am or pretend to be some American hero. I don't believe I am someone who deserves thanks for serving this great country, or to be bought things for what I do for the USA. I think I am just doing my part. I am simply proud to serve and honored to call myself a United States Sailor.

Thank you to my brothers and sisters in arms, thank you for everything you do, whether it is defend our lines or fix our ships, aircraft, and vehicles. Thank you to those who do those things necessary to keep our military running. Thank you to each and every man and woman who serves this great country of ours. Stand tall, be proud, and salute smartly... you serve the greatest military in the greatest country in the world.

For those who have fallen,
For those who still stand tall,
And for those who are yet to come,
To the past,
The present,
And the future Sailors, Soldiers, Marines, and Airmen,
Be proud of who you are,
What you've done,
And who you will become.

Believe in yourself,
Those who stand beside you,
And those you defend.

Be proud of what you stand for,
What you protect,
And what you are fighting for.



Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Public Service Announcement No. 3: Laugh, it's good for you

I believe in the power of laughter. I come from a naturally funny family. If you are ever around us, you are guaranteed a lot of laughs. All of my friends are funny. The great things is they all have their own humor style.

It is a proven fact that laughing makes you feel better. It releases endorphins and there is nothing better when you are feeling down then a good laugh. I know when I am in the dumps, I automatically feel better after laughing... and sure it may not last long, but it is still nice to get that good feeling.

There is a reason why we love telling those funny stories and jokes to everyone. It makes us feel good to relive funny times, and to make other people laugh with them. Your life is so much better and much more enjoyable with laughter in it.

I go out of my way sometimes to make people laugh. Whether it is telling a bad or stupid joke, or doing something entirely dumb, I will do it to get a laugh. I really don't have to try to make someone laugh, but sometimes that extra effort is worth it.

So the point of this PSA is to bring up this point. Do a little (or a lot) of laughing. Try to find the humor in every day life. If you do that, you will find yourself enjoying your life that much more... and will make even the most dull, boring, or monotonous things seem a lot better.

So in the immortal words of George Carlin, LAUGH YOU BASTARDS IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Are you serious?

There is a picture of Michael Phelps smoking "what appears to be" pot.

Oh the uproar. Oh the humanity. How can one of our sport role models do such a thing. (Can you sense the sarcasm?)

He is a 23 year old. He is entitled to bonehead mistakes. I mean seriously.... how else do you think he eats a table full of food 5 times a day? Ever heard of the munchies?

This really doesn't bother me, and everyone who actually knows Phelps says it was out of character, and that he made a silly mistake. No one is really making that big of a deal over it, and even his sponsors and the IOC are just brushing it off. Now the idiot police in the county where the picture was taken, are thinking of pressing criminal charges. WHY? For what reason would it serve any good? What difference would it make to do that? All you are doing is bringing more unneeded light to a situation, that in my mind, is over and done with. Plus let us not forget he would have to test positive, or they would have to find proof of possession... neither of which they have. Case closed.

The picture was posted, the damage was done, the apology was issued... move on. I think his only real mistake was letting the picture get taken. So he smokes grass... so what? You know how many famous people smoke weed or do worse? How many of our upstanding public figures do illegal things? Lets charge them all and put them all in jail. While we are at it, lets look into the backgrounds of the police and the lawyers and judges. Put them in jail too. How about the media? Shall we just go ahead and put the whole of the human race in jail? Seriously... it was a picture, and he said sorry. It isn't like it was steroids... I mean pot really isn't a performance enhancing drug... except for enhancing your eating and sleeping abilities.

I still think Phelps is a viable role model and someone any athlete can look up to, and all this does is prove that he is human and can make a mistake. What happened to forgiveness? Aren't we all entitled to screw up now and again?

The worst part of this whole thing is the reaction of the public. Most people are just saying "whatever" but some people are blowing it out of proportion. A select few people... very select are claiming his race has something to do with him getting off easy. What? Where are your brains at? I have noticed an upturn in racism lately. I don't know why all of the sudden its all about race again. Bryan brought it up very well in a post he did on Facebook, where people are acting a fool because we have a half black president. I really don't want to go into this subject, because I think racism is stupid, and no one race is impervious to idiocy and lunacy. The color of your skin doesn't determine if you are a total mental case or dumb as a brick. It all has to do with what is on the inside... and guess what... we all look the same in there. So let us not be stupid and bring race into something so silly.

I support you Mike. You're still an American Sports Hero in my mind! Now put the bong down and go out there and swim some more laps!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Lazy post

1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
um.... like sophomore year in college? Track thing....

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

5. Are you any good at math?
mostly, except for those dumb types of math that somehow 2+2 does not =4. that's just fucking retarded.

6. Your prom night?

7. Do you have any famous relatives?
depends on your definition of famous

8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
yeah.... and boy do they want their money....

9. Do you know the words to your MySpace song?

10. Last thing u received in the mail?
a gift from Bryan

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
none, surprisingly... I need to fix that....

13. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
Fleetwood Mac, Pat Benitar, and REO Speedwagon.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Who doesn't?

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
All the work I have had done since joining the Navy. I had appointments for like a week straight. Fuck that.

16. What is out your back door?
I don't have a back door.

18. Do you like the ocean?
It's overrated.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?
actually yes.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
sure... in my youth.

22. Something you are excited about?
a day in the future.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?

25. Describe your keychain?
a car key, a room key, and a UT thingy.

26. Where do you keep your change?

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?
Um.......... dunno?

28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
I have a Navy Peacoat, which is currently in the possession of the sister.

29. What do you think of the person you copied this from?
a friend of the sister I haven't met. (the friend that is)

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
well since the only door is the door to the outside world... closed. It would get a bit drafty and I wouldn't want everyone sticking their head in....

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Congrats Steelers!

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Steelers on winning a record setting sixth Super Bowl, and in such a fantastic fashion. This was one of the best SBs I have ever watched, and I was very impressed with both teams will and fight to not give up. Congrats to both teams for making it to the Big Game.

Now the wait begins for next season.... *sigh*

Super Bowl XLIII

So here we are on the day of the biggest sports event on the American sports calendar. What a match up we have too. The defensively dominant Steelers vs. the entirely improbable Cardinals. I doubt ANY expert picked this SB match up, and if anyone claims to, they are liars.

The Steelers are usually a decent pick for a chance at the Big Game, but the Cardinals are almost never even in the conversation. True, they have made decent strides the past few years, but no one ever saw this coming. They blazed their way to an easy NFC East title, but after that they fluttered. They boasted a 0-5 record on the East Coast and staggered into the playoffs as a probable first round exit. They dominated the likewise surprising Falcons, then went for another expected East Coast beatdown to Carolina. WRONG. They pounded the Panthers and faced another unlikely opponent, the Eagles who upset last years Champs, the Giants. The Eagles thumped the Cards first time around, but this time, Arizona jumped out early and held off the Eagles to make it to the Ultimate Game.

The Steelers destroyed people with their defense, and the good enough offense. They handled the Chargers, then won a physical defensive battle with the Ravens to make it to their second Super Bowl in 4 years.

So who will win this David and Goliath battle? Will the underdog strike big like last year? Will defense dominate a powerful offense? I really don't know. I want to make a prediction, but I Don't really have a good prediction. My head says the Steelers will pull it out, but something still tells me that the Cardinals have a bigger chance than anyone really thinks. This is probably one of the hardest games to predict because it all depends on which Cardinals show up. Is it going to be the Playoff Cards or the Last Quarter of the Regular Season Cards? That is what will determine this game. However, I could be wrong. That powerful team from the past 3 games could show up and the Steelers could still hold them off. Who knows? We will see in a few short hours!