I dont do cliche

If anyone can tell me how to do the little thing over the e id appreciate it.

Anyways...

Is anyone else tired of everyone looking/acting/being just like everyone else? Im so sick of looking around and seeing 98% of people who are identical to at least one other person. Its soooooooooooo stupid... I know imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but there is a limit.

I do realize we all do follow some trends. Its impossible to avoid it. I personally try to be myself and like things that I genuinely want to. Some people do things to be cool... not me. Its not me... and never will be. I wear things I like and do things I like. I listen to my own mix of music which is anywhere from Linkin Park to Elton John to Ludacris to Brooks and Dunn. Hell I even listen to Beethoven. I watch shows most others I know dont like. Im huge on the Discovery Channel and shows like Mythbusters. People I know cant even tell you what channel the Discovery Channel is. I can tell you the DAILY SCHEDULE.

Im not telling you to avoid popular trends... I know Im victim to them from time to time, but dammit be yourself. Quit being Eminem, or Good Charlotte, or Lil Jon... quit being whatever is popular and changing your style everytime something new comes out. How is anyone going to know who you are when you dont even know yourself?

Life isnt about being cool, but being yourself. How can you enjoy life when you spend all your time seeking out that which is cool and fashionable and not following your heart? I want to live in a society of individuals and not one of clones and sheep.

This is simply my opinion and feel free to think whatever you would like. If you are incapable of thinking for yourself and have to be told what to think then let me help you. Read the following sentences and follow the instructions. GET A LIFE, GET AN OPINION, AND HAVE AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT/IDEA/DECISION. DONT LIVE YOUR LIFE BASED ON EVERYONE ELSE AND THEIR COOLNESS FACTORS. INVENT YOUR OWN!!!

Thats all for now folks....

You may return to your lives.

Stuck in the middle

Im not happy but Im not sad...

Im not jolly and Im not glad...

But Im not depressed or mad...

Im just stuck...

In...
The...
Middle...

I really dont have any complaints about my life. Im doing something I enjoy, and Ive actually gotten my future in my sights. I always had my eyes on the future, but it was all kind of hazy and indiscernable. Its much clearer now... but I still dont know WHERE.

Texas?

Oklahoma?

Elsewhere?

I really dont know.... I will find out in December... until then its business as usual and just living my middle of the road life.

I really dont have anything exciting happening to me either. I just wake up, go to class, work on the paper, take pictures, eat somewhere in there, try to relax, and do it all over again the next day. My excitement level is about a 5... right in the middle.

I have no relationship life to speak of. Thats a good and a bad thing.

Good: I can be selfish with my time/money/self and dont have to worry about pleasing someone else.

Bad: Im feeling kinda lonely. I wish I had someone.

But once again my feelings have pulled me to the middle. Im not more or less either way.

I dunno what it is, but I have to say I would rather me in the middle than on the negative side of the perspective. Id rather be at zero then in the minus. Im sure things will get better, and Im sure at some point it will get worse, but Ive learned that that is life.

You can only hope for more happy than sad... and just hope that you stay in the middle more often than not. I guess being in the middle in new to me, because it feels so weird. Im either happy or sad and never in the middle.

So dont think Im complaining... Im really not. Im just chilling in the middle... Who knows what will come... but Im ok with this flat spot that is the rollercoaster of my life.

Who knows where this road will lead...

"Wolf" in a shoebox

Stories of the Wolf: Chapter One.

The Origins

Everyone always says "blank in a nutshell" but I cant fit what I want to talk about in that kinda space. I need something with more room... like a shoebox. We may have to move up to a packing crate soon... but for now lets go with the shoebox.

On my last blog I explained about the origins of the nickname "Wolf". To comparmentalize it I'll give you the Cliffnotes version. Due to my love of Wolves and my habit of wearing wolf t shirts, a friend began calling me Wolf. My other friends began to as well. We also made several connections between myself and a wolf. I stick to a small group. Im very cunning. I stalk my "prey" and "execute" it with precision and stunning skill. I could go on and on but for the sake of time, lets leave it there. So Wolf was born.

When I was first dubbed Wolf, I kept it within my group of friends. We were always very close guarded with our nicknames and kept them amongst ourselves, but as we got older we were more free with them. Eventually many people knew our nicknames because we went by them while we were causing mass distruction and havoc in high school. We are still famous to this day for some of the stunts we pulled. (another story for another time) So with the expansion of use and for another reason (in memoriam of the friend who gave me the nickname) I chose to tattoo Wolf on my arm.

The tattoo reminds me of all that is important... and it reminds me to always be me. I designed it myself and I wanted it to be like me, unique. I will always be proud of the nickname Wolf and what it represents. I will never forget those who gave me the name and who stand beside me as my friends. To the best friends anyone could ever ask for. Derreck and Bryan, heres to you...

So that is Wolf in a shoebox... more than a little bit... and enough to keep you interested in whats to come. There will be plenty more to come in the Stories of the Wolf. This saga has just begun.

The Invisibles and I: A story of me and my "friends"

I have invisible friends. They arent imaginary cause their fuckin real dammit! Just cause YOU cant see them doesnt mean they dont exist... it just means youre not looking hard enough.

I have my drinking buddy Cap'n Morgan. He and I drink together often... but sometimes I drink with my friends Shiner and Bud. They all get me well intoxicated and help me have a fun time doing it.

Tommy Insomnia keeps me awake and entertained. He tells me what I should be doing instead of sleeping. "Drink a Red Bull, you can't sleep on life..."

Walker is the guy who gets me motivated and drags my ass out of bed. He pushes me to the limits and beyond and never lets me settle for less than what I can achieve.

Those are my "on the outside" friends... Ive also got the ones who run around in my head.

Pauly is the one who gets me in trouble. Hes the one I forget not to listen to and end up doing something stupid. Usually the others keep Pauly in check, but he sneaks up on me when the others are sleeping.

Wolf is my conscience. Hes the one who talks me through shit... gets me going in the right direction. If it wasnt for Wolf, Ian would have been a loony, a druggie, or a goner. All three of those options just dont appeal to me.

Ethan is the smart one... the one who knows everything and can NEVER be wrong. Alot of people know him.... hes pretty pretenious at times.

Aidan is the kid... the one who never lets me forget to have fun, relax and enjoy life. "we dont get to be kids for long so enjoy it while you can or when you can. Life is too short to not have some fun." Life is so much simpler in the eyes of a child.

Joey is my financial advisor. Hes not a very good one though... thats why Im always broke. I think I need to find someone else for the job.

David... well hes the asshole. Hes the one who loves nothing more than to piss someone off, to cut someone down, to make sarcastic comments... hes the guy you hate... but oddly admire for his brutal honesty... but it doesnt stop from wanting to beat his ass from time to time.

Finally... theres me. Ian. Im the guy whos left after you take all of the others away. After you strip all the layers away... you get to me. Im a nice, caring, funny, light hearted individual, who loves to help out his friends and family. Im the one who will sit down and listen to you and help you solve your problems. Im the guy who everyone loves. Despite what all of my other "friends" do... people still love Ian.

You may think Im crazy... a little on the nuttier than a Payday side... but look within yourself and see if you cant find a whole bunch of different personalities. See if you cant dig deep within your soul and find the real you under all the layers.

I think you may be afraid of what or who you will find. Dont be... because who you are defines you, in all facets and aspects. Your friends know the real you... can you find that within yourself too? Look around... you may be suprised at what you find.

Hello again, my good friend, Tommy Insomnia

So Im a liar. I said my last post was my final post before Easter. Well my Insomnia.... lets call him Tommy... had other ideas. I was gonna get a nice night of sleep before an extremely stressful day of writing, seminars, workshops and driving... but as always Tommy showed up.

Its not that I dont like Tommy... its just he shows up at the WRONG times. When Im out partying... wanting to stay up all night... hes no where to be found. When I want to sleep... he comes aknockin...

SO here I am at 2 in the A.M. writing because Tommy told me to. I found its easier to listen to him then to argue with or ignore him. Lets talk shall we?

Have you ever been bordering on being happy and being unhappy and walking that thin line capable of going either way? I am right now. I could be happy, I could be unhappy but I find myself in the middle... or rather indifferent. Ive got some things going one way in my life and some things going the other and it keeps me stabilized. My sanity and emotions are for once not riding a roller coaster.

I spent the whole month of Feburary as an emotional and physical wreck and ever since then Ive been rather leveled out. I was told by a doctor to possibly seek out stress relieving or anti-depressant drugs, but luckily I haven't needed them or felt a pressing desire to be back on them. I know when I was that I was so out of it that I missed alot of things, and I dont feel like going through that again. Its too much of a hassle.

I do have to admit that over the last month, I got the weight off of my shoulders for the most part. Instead of being like Atlas and holding the world on my shoulders... Im more like a normal person just dealing with everyday problems. I get really worn out from carrying all of my problems and everyone elses too. So I think I'll stick with mine and let other people deal with theirs... sure Ill still assist when needed but I will stop carrying the brunt of the load. A guy can only take so much.

I feel like Im writing a novel.... jeez... see what happens when Tommy Insomnia comes to visit?

Alas I will stop writing before I lose my audience to boredom. Once again to all of my readers... please have a fun and safe weekend... and dammit... ENJOY YOURSELVES!!!

~Ian and Tommy... the Dreamless Team

Hi, my name is PAIN

Ok... so for those who don't know, I have minor back problems. When I say minor, I mean 2 pinched nerves, 2 torn ligaments, vertabrae damage, and deteriorating disk spacing. Ya know... nothing major.

ANYWAYS I woke up on sunday morning slightly hung over (Captain Morgan and I hung out, got shitfaced) and noticed that two fingers on my left hand were ever so slightly numb. Not so you would really notice, but enough to make you go "well this is new"... Also the sometimes present pain in my neck and upper back returned. I figured it had to do with me being hunched over a computer or desk all week working on the newspaper... but I took precaution and decided to see the chiropractor on monday if the conditin wasnt any better.

Monday comes... and the condition remained the same, so off I go to see the doctor. He listens to my laundry list of ailments and tells me it may be a fine idea to perhaps pursue other avenues of activity besides contact sports. Well he took X-Rays and did some adjusting and therapy on me. Numbness in hand has subsided but pain is ever present.

Fast forward to today... I got a call from the chiro... he asked me in all seriousness how I was ever having a moment WITHOUT pain. It appears I have not one but TWO bulging discs, one in my neck one in my lower back, that are putting pressure on several nerves and causing all of my pain and numbness problems. I figured now was as good of a time as any to inform him of my high pain tolerance, and basic ignorance of annoying things that attempt to distract me. He replied ever so eloquently "Well ignoring this could put you in a wheelchair."

Um Im not cool with that. So at this point in time I am pursuing therapy to attempt to correct these problems and get myself "straightened out". Wish me luck on that pursuit.

Update time: The March Issue of the Baconian came out this past Friday and I wrote a front page article, the major sports story, a movie review, took the front page picture, and did page layout. Can you say that I was kinda busy? Sheesh.

Im attending a Media Day Conference at Northeastern Oklahoma State University tomorrow and I have to compete in the writing competition where I interview someone and write a story in a severely short amount of time. Im a little aprehensive about this... but wish me lots and lots of luck tomorrow.

Well thas about it... this is my last post before Easter so I hope everyone has a safe extended weekend, and has fun searching for them colored eggs... that a bunny laid... still dont get the joke behind this.... ANYWAYS...be safe have fun and Ill be back on Monday!

~Ian "Wolf" Townsend

What Ive Done

Heres the lyrics to the new song by Linkin Park, What Ive Done. Ive always connected with their music and this new song is no different. So read the lyrics and check out the song on my Myspace profile. I cant wait for the new cd... May 15!

In this farewell,
There is no blood,
There is no alibi,
Cause I've drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousands lies,
So let mercy come and wash away…

What I've Done,
I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done…

Put to rest,
What you thought of me
While, I clean this slate,
With the hands,
Of uncertainty,
So let mercy come,
And Wash away…

What I've Done,
I'll face myself,
To cross what I've become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done…

For what I've done,
I start again,
And whatever pain may come,
Today this ends,
I'm forgiving what I've done…

I'll face myself,
To cross out what I've become,
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done…

(Na,Na,Na) [Mike Shinoda!]

What I've Done,
What I've Done,
Forgetting what I've done…

I am starting my life over with a new direction and this song symbolizes it. I look forward to continuing my life with a clean slate and moving on from my past. Its time for something new and thats what Im going after!