Friday, June 11, 2010

Grandpa

I recently lost my grandpa. He was a major part of my life and I feel like a piece of me is missing. A part of my life that has always been there is gone now. I know he's in a better place and he's not gone from the hearts and minds of those he loves, but it doesn't stop it from hurting. To know I will never see his face, hear his voice, be in his presence... it breaks me into pieces. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I right this. One of the strongest men in my life, one of my heroes, one of the reasons for who I am today is forever gone.

To say he was a perfect man would be lying. He, like everyone, had his share of downfalls. But to say that he was a good man, and a good grandfather is no stretch of the imagination. He did all he could to be there for me. He doted on me, saw me often, and always tried to make it to my sporting events. Even later in his life he never went without asking after me. He always wanted to know what was going on with me. It tears me apart knowing that I was so far from him the last few years of my life, and I wish I was around more. It hurt even worse not being able to see him in such a frail and helpless state. A man I saw live his life his way, and never bowed to anything, it killed me to see him have no power. I wish I could have been there with him in his last moments.

I am thankful for the 25 years I did have him. He gave so much love to me, and I can never thank him enough for that. He loved me unconditionally, and it's something I will miss for the rest of my life. I can say, however, that I had that. A lot of people can't claim as much. I am lucky and I count my blessings everyday. He gave me life through my father, and gave me so many things that are the world to me. He taught me life lessons, how to be my own man, and how to never let life get you down or direct you in any way but your own.

I will miss my grandpa terribly, but the smart part of me knows I will never truly be without him. He will always live in my heart. I will always have our good times and good memories. He will forever be an influence on my life and who I am. I will never live a day without trying to be the man he taught me to be. I have a lot to live up to as the last male in the family line, but I had good teachers and examples in my father and grandpa. Without the most important male figures in my life, I would not be here today.

I will miss you Grandpa. I will think about you always, and I know you will watch down over me. I will not say goodbye, because I will see you again. Rest peacefully... You're in my heart and mind.

George Luther Townsend

"When I look to the stars, I know just where you are, you're looking down upon me...", Fire by Dead By Sunrise

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