Fuckin Typos.... and other fun observations into my life

I've noticed recently, I make a small amount of mistakes when I write. Its not totally obvious, and I'm sure everyone gets the point of my words, but when I go back to read it, after I've already released it to the world... it bugs the SHIT out of me. Alas, I know I am human, and I make mistakes, but for a future pro writer... it's annoying. Sorry, but I felt the need to complain for a second.

OK, on to the real stuff I planned on writing.

Raise your hand if you are happy, right now at this very second. It's OK I'll wait for those who are unsure.

*pauses for a moment*

If I am as omnipresent as I think I am, not many of you raised your hand, or at least not more than half-heartedly. It's OK... I can't claim pure happiness either. While I am quite content with parts of my life, I am not so with others. Natural state of being. Anyone who is totally happy with everything in their life is either medicated or psychotic... and should be medicated.

My point is that after all these years... I have accepted the fact I can't be totally happy. Perhaps for a split second, I can achieve full happiness, (usually in the moment of climax... but isn't that true for all of us?) but otherwise, there is always something to keep you from being all-emcompassingly (yes I made the word up, deal with it) happy. I have a decent job (its a part time gig...ends when I get a "real" job) that pays bills, at which I've showed a proficiency and even garnered a $1.35 raise after two months, and a relatively steady personal life that doesn't consist of me sitting at home all the time. I have friends, I have a great family, and I am generally content with my existence. But things are missing from my life puzzle (B can take credit for that analogy). I want things but they aren't within my grasp... or perhaps they are... I just can't bring myself to reach for them. Its maddening, but I've learned that its the nature of the beast. My sister will love this... A certain Rolling Stones song reminds me of this.

You cant always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need

So yeah I have chilled out on trying to find perfect happiness, and have settled into a life of just being content and being OK with it. The road of life is paved with both happiness and sadness, so we just have to learn to accept our share of both, and know that in the end, those happy times will outweigh the bad.

In other news...

I don't miss playing sports all that much. Maybe it's the nagging pain in my back and neck, but I just don't really feel the itch to play like I normally would this time of year. Maybe I have realized my dreams of playing sports any longer are over, or maybe I'm getting older, wiser, and more conscious of wanting to live my life out of a wheelchair. Sure I miss it, but who wouldn't? I at least will still be involved with sports, albeit writing about it or taking pictures, but maybe that's where I am supposed to be. When I found journalism, it took away the sting of the possibility of not doing sports anymore. It gave me a path to follow where I control my destiny, and can still involve myself in things I am interested in. I have made a list of goals for my future and here they are.

1. Own my own publishing company and photo studio.

2. Write novels.

3. Travel the world.

That's it, that's my list. Achievable no? So instead of my life being a sprint... its become a marathon. I am not setting forth on the path to MY future, and only God knows what it holds. For someone who had his life planned out, it was a huge struggle to accept this change, but it's been nothing but a good thing since it happened. I've become more flexible, more accepting of change, and now allow myself to do what I feel in my heart is right. It's liberating. I now follow my own path, one I built for myself. I've got my hiking boots for when the road gets rough, my jacket for when it rains or gets cold, and my suntan lotion for when the sun shines on me. I'm ready to go forth and be the man I was destined to be... ME.

So this post ran a bit longer than expected, but what am I to do when the muse descends? Anyways I hope to be a more regular poster than I have been and with increased computer time, I can be. So check in often.... I might just post something for you to enjoy.

~Ian