Wildlife of the Bacone Jungle

As many of you know, Bacone College is inhabited by a wide variety of different people. They also vary in their numbers. Today I will break down the many groups of students in the school. Bear in mind, several people belong to more than one group.

Stupids
The most widely spread group, and by far the most frustrating. These people can be recognized by their apparent lack of intelligence, and their queries of "what?" when you say something that has more than six letters in it. These particular creatures spend most of their day pursuing mindless activities, sleeping, eating, and annoying the more intelligent among us.

Affletes
This group is closely related to the Stupids, and share many of the same characteristics. These curious creatures are marginally intelligent enough to grasp the basic elements of sports. They often struggle to make grades or excel in class, but are quite capable on the field, court, track, or where ever they may compete. Many people struggle to understand how they can be so successful in one aspect mentally, but be complete failures in the other. These creatures can be recognized by their athletic physiques, constant showing off, and loud gregarious natures. These creatures travel in large packs, and are in no way shy. They make their presence known, and can often be very rowdy. They are the exact opposite of the species known as Nerds.

Nerds
As aforementioned, Nerds are the exact opposite of the Affletes. They excel in class and make very good grades, but are athletically inept. They are often weak and small, with tell tale glasses or geeky clothes. They are easily spotted and don't blend well into crowds. This group is very rare in these regions. They tend to be very shy and reclusive, and are frightened easily.

Servicers
A decent sized group, with no natural enemies. These creatures can fit into about any group, but one feature makes them stand alone. Their open promiscuity. Due to their nature, they are often referred to as Whores, Sluts, Hoes, etc. They regularly visit one or more rooms a night seeking to "pleasure" the inhabitants who dwell in those rooms. Unless you know them, or have had them pointed out to you, you could overlook them quite easily. They blend well into crowds, and fit in any circle. They can often go unnoticed even to the trained eye. These creatures can be very dangerous as well, as some of them may carry sexually transmitted diseases. Be especially careful when dealing with these creatures.

Jocks
These animals are a step above the Affletes. If Affletes are mules, these guys are horses. They are slightly more intelligent, a little less appalling for an Intelligent to be around, but still quite stupid in their own respect. Most are assholes, or completely involved in their own greatness. They often believe they are the highest life forms, so take upon themselves to pick on the other people. Anyone smaller or weaker than them will be subject to their terrorism. Nerds are often their favorite target. This group is highly subjective in their membership, and usually run in tight packs. They are usually found at sporting events, parties, or torturing some poor soul. They also consider themselves "cool". So anyone deemed uncool will be summarily abused. They can be recognized by their athletic wear, letter jackets, and by the copious amount of empty beer cans in and around their dwelling grounds. While relatively harmless to most, Non athletic or "uncool" people should avoid at all costs, for you may be targeted and attacked.

Intelligents
Besides the Nerds, this is the smallest group. They are practically endangered. These creatures are higher beings in the fact that they are about as intelligent or as intelligent as the Nerds, but aren't simply all about being smart. They can be found in all facets of student life and sports, but aren't involved in any of the other groups. In fact most of them associate with the other groups, but they will not lower themselves into actually becoming a part of another group. They prefer to protect their unique qualities and often seek the counsel and company of other Intelligents. They feel that other Intelligents are the only form of sanity or decency in the BC Jungle. Alas they are a dying breed, because they usually cannot stand the other inhabitants, and seek a place where more Intelligents dwell. (bigger colleges) These creatures usually become so frustrated with the Stupids, Affletes, and Jocks, that they must escape the Hell of being around them. So alas, the greatest species, the true Kings of the BC Jungle are leaving in search of better hunting and dwelling grounds. Only a brave few actually spend their allocated time in the BC Jungle, and survive through it. I tip my hat to those brave souls.

So there's the many groups that take up residence in the BC Jungle. I hope this safari has been informative, and entertaining. I hope you now realize why BC is such a difficult place for someone like me to survive in. Hopefully my time remaining in this Jungle is short. We will see!