The big day

Tomorrow I go in for the BIG enlistment day.

I am currently in OKC for the night, and tomorrow it begins at a bright and early 4:30 a.m.

Wish me luck, and hopefully tomorrow I will be a Navy recruit, and will know my leave date.

~Ian

I have the best sister.

She made a public blog, because I talked her into it.

Saucy Wench Words

As I told her, I think her words are to good to hide from the world.

Plus, I wanted her to have a public blog so that I could become famous by relation/association.

My logic is this: They see she has amazing words. They see she has a brother. They figure that I am just as amazing, and read my stuff, tell their friends, and I now have a large following.

Seriously, I didn't do it for me though. I did it because she can amaze you with the things she says, and make you laugh so hard your sides hurt. I didn't think it was fair that so few people got to see those words, and so many people are deprived of her wisdom, humor, and wit.

I missed out on many many years with her, and I know what it feels like to not have her in my life. IT AIN'T COOL. So now she is world-wide again, and it's all my fault.

You can send thank you emails to number32tx@gmail.com

Loves you sis.

~Ian

Hilarious. Simply hilarious.

So I was walking in the mall, and I happened past a store that sold ladies underwear.

A quite attractive woman was standing outside, and as I passed by she said, "You should come in and check out our special sale for your wife or girlfriend, all of our bras are 50% off."

I couldn't help myself. A reply came to me, and I could NOT stop myself from saying it.

"Well," I replied smiling, "I prefer it when bras are 100% off"

A confused look crossed her face. "But sir, then they would be free."

Yes, yes "they" would be, I thought to myself.

"And we would not make any money," she continued.

"I have to argue with you there," I said. "I know plenty of places where bras are 100% off and they make a killing, but it's usually in $1 bills."

If you don't think thats funny, there's something wrong with you.

~Ian

50 visitors

That is my goal for one day. I average anywhere between 6-12 a day now. I want just ONE day with 50. That would make me feel loved.

So here's what I want y'all to do for me. A favor if you will. Tell your friends about this blog. Tell them to tell their friends. Etc. I'm hoping through this exercise I will get more regular readers.

So will you help me meet my goal?

Please?

~Ian

My new favorite quote

"Intelligence is key, and you're locked out."

Say NO to Hillary

I know I may have quite a few pissed off women on my hands after they read this, but it will be less than you would think. ( I have heard plenty of women tell me they don't like Hillary.)

I dislike Hillary for several reasons. First off, if it weren't for Bill, no one would care about her. If she had not been the wife of the president who got caught cheating, or hell, had not been first lady at all, she would not be where she is now. Someone honestly tell me you cared about Hillary before Bill got caught cheating.

She has no emotions, period. She cries on stage, tries to passionately reach out to her audience... bullshit. She's playing you. A can of Coke has more emotions than her.

She has done nothing worthwhile. She holds no candle to what Obama, McCain, or Huckabee have done. As stated before, she would not have been a Senator, and I would not be complaining about her now.

I don't think she will get anything done if she managed to get the Presidency. I think so many people would be opposed her being in office, that the Senate and Congress (or rather the lobbyists controlling the Senate and the Congress) would oppose her at every step.

And lest we forget... her being in the White House would bring Slick Dick Willy back there too. Is that such a good idea?

She has testicles. Why do you think Bill had to get ass elsewhere? She's more of a man than him. So you aren't voting for a woman, but a post-op gay man.

What I think is the most unfortunate part of her running, is the fact that she is taking away votes from the strongest candidate in the race, Barack Obama. He is the ONLY Democrat I would ever dream of voting for. His ideas, his track record, his influence, his poise, etc.... He is the best choice because he is out to clean the country up, and level the playing field for everyone, no matter color, gender, or social class. The things he has done in his political career are far more than Hillary ever did, or would ever be able to accomplish.

Also, her running makes this race a popularity contest and not an election of a competent leader of our country. Everyone is ignoring politics and voting for whether they want a black man or a woman in office.

If you think I am being sexist, I'm not. I would support any woman who pulled her own weight, showed she could make a difference, and got where she is on her own merit, not what her husband did. Like it or not, the truth is she is riding the "sympathy vote" and some women are so blind that they would vote for a woman no matter if she would not do the country any good.

Bottom line, I don't like Hillary, and I will never support her. I think Obama or McCain would be far better presidents, and they have the experience and determination to make a real difference.

Thats my opinion. Let the hateful comments commence.

The funniest joke I have ever heard

A priest and a nun are playing golf together. The priest tees up his ball on the first hole, takes a big swing, and completely misses the ball.

"Fuck, I missed!" the priest yells.

The nun looks aghast. "Father, you shouldn't use such language."

They play through the first hole, and go to the second. The priest tees up his ball, takes a big swing, and misses again.

"Fuck, I missed!" the priest yells again.

The nun looks mortified. "Father, if you say that again, God will strike you down!"

They play through the second hole, and go to the third. The priest tees up his ball, swings hard, and misses for a third time.

"Fuck, I missed!"

The sky clouds over, thunder rumbles, suddely a lighting bolt arcs from the clouds and strikes the nun, frying her.

A loud echoing voice speaks, "Fuck, I missed!"